Two Wolves Inside Every Developer

Content CAN DO A TERMINAL COMMAND O.01 SECONDS FASTER THAN YOU ON GUI OHP DID YOU INCLUDE THE TIME IT TOOK YOU TO LEARN THE TERMINAL COMMANDS INTO THE TIME CALCULATIONP ProgrammerHumor.

Content My code in IDE My output in terminal

Someone's job security strategy is absolutely chef's kiss . Instead of writing clean, maintainable code, they've created a function that always returns 2, labeled it as "job security," and then made two helper functions that literally copy memory addresses to change the return value. Nothing says "I'll never be fired" like writing code that only you understand and using memcpy() to overwrite function implementations instead of, you know, just changing the original function. Because why write one line of code when you can write twenty that require a hazmat suit to maintain? Bonus points for the "NEVER call this function" comments that scream "I'm the only one who knows which landmines not to step on." Pure evil genius at work here.

What developers say vs. what they actually do with semantic versioning: "It's just a minor update!" *proceeds to completely rewrite the core functionality* "Let me check what's inside..." *finds half the API endpoints are deprecated* "Oh look, breaking changes!" *cat's face of existential horror as your entire production build crashes* The real version number formula: MAJOR.MINOR.WHATEVER-I-FEEL-LIKE-TODAY

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Content What is the most used language in programming? Profanity