Two Wolves Inside Every Developer

The classic developer time warp! You spend your entire day helping teammates debug their issues, answering questions, and reviewing their code. "Just a quick look," they said. Four hours later, you've fixed everyone's problems except your own. Then suddenly you look up and... wait, it's dark outside?! Where did the day go? That bug ticket you were supposed to fix is still sitting there, untouched since morning standup. And now you have two options: go home defeated or stay late and become the office cryptid that maintenance keeps finding coffee mugs from.

Content Visualizing in the mirror the man I want to become: A Senior Dev that responds to interns on time

Content St. Developer We use distributed graph datastore built for fast graph traversals, storing adjacency lists, supporting a high rate of add remove update operations, paginating through millions of entries, horizontally scaling, and running graph walking queries Jr. Developer

The eternal programmer paradox: screaming at your own creation. The white creature labeled "DEV" is questioning its own code like an exasperated parent: "I wrote you and checked you out. Why aren't you working?" Meanwhile, the dark creature labeled "GAME" is just smugly sitting there, proudly spawning "ERROR" babies everywhere. It's the digital equivalent of stepping on a Lego you placed there yourself. The signature "DN MAN :)" is just the cherry on top of this self-inflicted debugging nightmare.

OH. MY. GOD. The absolute HIERARCHY of self-reference in programming languages! 😬 Java with its pretentious " this " keyword? Barely tolerable . Python with its elegant " self " parameter? Now we're talking sophistication ! But Visual Basic with its dramatic " Me " keyword?! HONEY, THAT'S THE PROGRAMMING EQUIVALENT OF SHOWING UP TO A FUNERAL IN A SEQUIN DRESS! 💀 The title says it all - if your job forces you to code in VB, just end it all immediately! The TRAUMA! The HORROR! The SYNTAX! I simply cannot and will not with VB's melodramatic self-importance! It's giving main character energy in the WORST possible way!

A clever nod to Apple TV+'s "Severance" where the character's work self ("innie") is separated from their outside self ("outie"). Just like how developers have two personalities: the one who stubbornly refuses AI assistance at home, and the one who secretly lets GitHub Copilot write half their codebase at work. We all have principles until the deadline is tomorrow.