Two Wolves Inside Every Developer

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Content ME Ellen Berge 18:49 I don't trust anyone on snapchat because there are so many fake people on snapchat. are you true or false Bro thinks I am bool .

That suspicious side-eye moment when your coworker who normally submits PRs titled "fixed stuff" with zero comments suddenly delivers a masterpiece of documentation. Either they've been replaced by an AI, they're interviewing elsewhere, or management finally threatened to fire them. Nobody transforms into a model contributor overnight without ulterior motives. Trust issues activated.

The ultimate developer dream state: spend months automating a process down to a single button click, write meticulous documentation that nobody reads, share with colleagues who nod politely, then still get emails asking you to "initiate the process" because nobody wants to touch your beautiful automation. Your job description has essentially become "Professional Button Pusher" with a six-figure salary. The irony? That automation took 300 hours to build but saves exactly 5 minutes per week. But hey, the ROI calculation conveniently ignored your development time!

Java sitting at 174 points like it's collecting war crimes. SQL and PHP are basically tied for "I'm not proud of what I've done" at 58 and 52 respectively. Python's surprisingly low at 12—guess people are too busy writing one-liners to feel ashamed. But the real plot twist? JavaScript only has 6 shame points. Either JS developers have achieved enlightenment and transcended shame, or they've been doing it wrong for so long that they've simply forgotten what good code looks like. My money's on the latter. Fortran and COBOL making the list is chef's kiss—respect to the ancient ones still maintaining that legacy banking system from 1972. MATLAB bringing up the rear with 2 points because the three people still using it are too busy with matrix multiplication to care about shame.

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