Truen't

OMG, the AUDACITY of management to starve us of the juicy performance problems we crave! 💀 For 364 days a year we're force-fed an endless buffet of mind-numbing bug fixes and feature requests, but HEAVEN FORBID we get ONE DAY to optimize something that actually matters! That sweet, sweet dopamine hit when you shave 200ms off a load time? PURE ECSTASY. But nooooo, we must suffer through the feature-request famine until the performance gods deem us worthy of their blessings. Intermittent fasting? More like intermittent SUFFERING! 😭

Content 10 11 16 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29

Microsoft wants $80 for Visual Studio? *dramatically removes sunglasses in horror* But wait! Subscription services for games? Xbox Game Pass? Ubisoft+? PlayStation Plus? Even the ESA (Entertainment Software Association)? *puts sunglasses back on coolly* The duality of developers: outraged at paying for coding tools while happily throwing money at gaming subscriptions. The compiler judge you silently.

Content PROGRAM DOESNT COMPILE I'LL COMPILE T AGAIN MAYBE IT FIXED ITSELF

The classic bait-and-switch of software development. The developer casually agrees to deliver five features by next week—a miracle in itself—but the moment unit tests are mentioned, reality hits harder than a production bug at 4:59 PM on Friday. It's like asking someone if they want dessert, waiting for them to get excited, and then adding "but you have to run a marathon first." Suddenly that chocolate cake doesn't seem worth it. The blank, horrified stare says it all. Writing code? Fun! Writing tests to prove your code actually works? Existential crisis territory.

Content No ethical computer scientist would ever create a method called "destroyBaghdad" whose function was to perform its namesake. Instead, basic ethics would compel him or her to create a method "destroyCity" to which "Baghdad" would be passed as a parameter.