Ah, the natural habitat of the modern tech company, expertly dissected! The corporate ecosystem where CEOs float around like mythical beings while backend engineers blast gangsta rap and devise t-shirts with obscure references that only five people on Earth understand.
The hierarchy is perfect - from the "office ninjas" who somehow conjure free snacks from the void to the "dev/SEO shamans" who perform their dark rituals of traffic generation. Meanwhile, customer support maintains their superhuman ability to say "no" without actually saying "no" - a skill more valuable than any coding language.
And let's not forget the servers - the only ones actually working 24/7 without complaining about the coffee quality or demanding ping pong tables. Silent heroes indeed.
The true magic of tech companies isn't the technology - it's somehow convincing everyone that Nerf gun wars and free snacks compensate for existential dread and imposter syndrome. Brilliant!