The Code Is Documentation Enough

DARLING, PREPARE YOURSELF FOR THE MOST DRAMATIC PLOT TWIST IN SOFTWARE ENGINEERING HISTORY! 💅 Kafka 2.0: "Zero retries is fine, sweetie. If a message fails, just let it DIE like my will to live during deployment." Kafka 2.1: "TWO BILLION RETRIES OR NOTHING! Your server will keep attempting to deliver that message until the heat death of the universe or your AWS bill causes your CFO to have a cardiac event—WHICHEVER COMES FIRST!" The jump from 0 to 2,147,483,647 (the max value of a 32-bit signed integer) isn't just a change—it's a FULL BLOWN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS for your message queue! Your poor little server is now trapped in retry purgatory, desperately trying to deliver messages like they're breakup texts it absolutely MUST send at 2am!

The gradual transformation into a complete clown represents the self-delusion of developers who think their undocumented code will somehow remain comprehensible over time. Sure, you wrote it yesterday and understand it perfectly. Fast forward six months and you'll be staring at your own creation like it's written in hieroglyphics. Future you will hate present you. Your teammates? They've already started building the voodoo doll.

Content TYPICAL APPLE PRODUCT... TOUCH A GOOGLE PRODUCT... YOUR COMPANY'S APP FIRST NAME: LAST NAME: SSN: FTPT: ID: PHONE 1: PHONE TYPE CD:L ITQP STAT:OC VER:I CAT CD: CITY STATE: ADDR ACCT : ORD OKAY 7 APPLY UNDO Browse HELP ERRORS DELETE KKA? CN3 AA-9 NEW DEL EDIT

When your PC says it's "turned on" but you know you've got 15 minutes of Steam and Discord updates before anything useful happens. The digital equivalent of a president stepping off Air Force One for a photo op while the actual work hasn't even started. Your computer isn't ready—it's just posing for the cameras.

Content Dear Universities Writing codes on paper doesn't makes us programmers

Oh my gosh, the eternal battle between gamers and devs over motion blur! 😂 Gamers are like "BURN IT WITH FIRE" while developers are just smugly like "Nope, it stays." Motion blur is that graphics setting that makes fast movement look... well, blurry. Gamers hate it with the passion of a thousand suns because it can make competitive gameplay harder and sometimes causes nausea. Meanwhile, devs keep adding it to games because it hides frame rate issues and makes games look more "cinematic." First thing every hardcore gamer does with a new game? Frantically search the settings menu to turn that blur off! The struggle is real!