Pull Stack Developer: The Internet's Copy-Paste Hero

Ah yes, the classic "let's rewrite decades of legacy code in a few months" fantasy. For those who don't know, COBOL is the programming equivalent of that ancient Nokia phone your grandpa still uses – outdated but somehow keeping entire nations running. Converting tens of millions of lines of COBOL that handle checks notes just the entire Social Security system to Java is like trying to transplant a whale's brain into a dolphin over a weekend. What could possibly go wrong? Just the financial security of every retiree in America. The best part is the "DOGE wants it done in months" bit. Nothing says "I've never written a line of code in my life" quite like thinking you can replace a 60-year-old system that processes trillions of dollars before your Jira subscription expires. Fun fact: The last time someone tried something similar, they spent $100 million and got absolutely nowhere. But hey, this time it'll be different because... reasons.

Content Me when i have to optimize code or remove bugs Me when I have to write regex reactoverflow

The brutal lifecycle of a Stack Overflow question: First panel: Innocent developer posts a question. Zero votes, zero answers. The crowd watches silently, judging. Second panel: Question gets downvoted to -1. Still zero answers. One brave soul steps forward... only to mark it as a duplicate of some obscure thread from 2011. Third panel: Developer is still stuck at -1 votes, zero answers, but now with bonus emotional damage! Meanwhile, the Stack Overflow elite continue their sacred duty of protecting the site from the horror of *checks notes* people asking questions. Nothing builds character like having your "how do I center a div" question closed as "not focused enough" by someone with a 6-digit reputation score.

Content SELF DOUBT ME 0085 ALRIGHT, NOW TO ADD A LITTLE BIT OF SELF DOUBT! UGH... NOT AGAIN! ...PUT HER WITH THE OTHER developers copyright 2022 - art comics by erin shuttleworth artbyerinshut patreon.comartbyerinshut erinshuttleworth.com

The eternal struggle of modern coding: the AI vibe coder vs. the ADHD vibe coder. On the left, we have the AI-dependent programmer - a sad, corporate bootlicker waiting for ChatGPT to explain basic packages while producing non-functional code that somehow still gets them hired at FAANG companies. Meanwhile, the ADHD coder on the right is living their best chaotic life - dressed like they raided a highlighter factory, confidently hacking together solutions based on "voices in their head" and that one function they glimpsed three weeks ago. Their code might be a ticking time bomb, but at least it has personality . The real genius here? The ADHD coder's superpower of instantaneous StackOverflow garbage collection. Who needs AI when you've mastered the ancient art of copy-paste-and-pray?

Ah, the classic cloud architect's lament. AWS promised us the holy grail of scalability, yet somehow became our new single point of failure. Nothing says "I've made a terrible mistake" quite like watching your entire infrastructure collapse because us-east-1 decided to take a coffee break. The irony burns hotter than Mustafar's lava. We migrated to the cloud to avoid downtime, only to discover we've just outsourced our problems to Jeff Bezos. Multi-region deployment? That was apparently on the roadmap right after "figure out how to decipher our own AWS bill."