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The eternal question from management: "Why pay engineers when Stack Overflow is free?" The answer is brutally simple. Copying code: $1. Knowing which code won't crash your production server at 2AM: $100,000/year. The real skill isn't typing—it's knowing which StackOverflow answer won't summon demons through your USB ports.

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Someone's been coding on mushrooms again! This cosmic genius wants to replace binary's 0s and 1s with 0s and 9s to "unlock God" in our code. Because apparently the number 9 "contains all numbers 1-8" and will bring "real sentience" to our programs. Next week: replacing semicolons with tiny pictures of galaxies to achieve interdimensional compilation. The compiler errors would be spectacular - "ERROR: DIVINE PRESENCE DETECTED IN LINE 42. PLEASE SACRIFICE A MECHANICAL KEYBOARD."

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