Programming Languages As Weapons

Programming languages Assembler Language evolution Code complexity Low-level High level Developer tools

Programming Python C++

6 months ago 241,298 views 0 shares

Programming Languages As Weapons

programming-languages-memes, assembler-memes, c-memes, c++-memes, python-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io

The evolution of programming weapons, perfectly illustrated. Assembler is your basic knife with a scope—minimal but precise. C is just a bullet with a hammer, because who needs safety features? C++ straps five different weapons together with duct tape and calls it "object-oriented." And then there's Python, which looks like it was designed by a committee of drunk engineers who couldn't decide what they wanted, so they included everything. "Yes, it's inefficient and ridiculous looking, but look how fast I can deploy it!"

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Who Turned Off Transaction Logging To Save Space?

Programming Security Devops Debugging Databases

4 months ago 223.8K views 0 shares

Who Turned Off Transaction Logging To Save Space?

THE AUDACITY! Some absolute MANIAC turned off transaction logging to "save space" and now the entire database team is having a collective meltdown! 💀 It's like removing your car's brakes to make it lighter - technically correct but CATASTROPHICALLY stupid! Without transaction logs, you might as well write your data on Post-its and throw them into a hurricane. Hope everyone enjoyed having recoverable data because that ship has SAILED, darling! Database recovery? More like database PRAYER at this point! ✨

coding 100

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4 years ago 44.1K views 0 shares

coding 100 | coding-memes, code-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io

Content Theory is when you know everything but nothing works. Practice is when everything works but no one knows why. In our code, theory and practice are combined: nothing works and no one knows why.

Scrum In A Nutshell: Work Hard Get Nothing

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3 months ago 226.5K views 0 shares

Scrum In A Nutshell: Work Hard Get Nothing

That's not a hamster wheel, it's a developer wheel. Sprint 385 and still running on empty promises. The poor LEGO dev thinking "just one more story point and I'll get that promotion" while management watches with that smile that says "keep running, we've got shareholders to please." Seven years in and I'm still waiting for that mythical 20% time to work on technical debt. Meanwhile, the Agility cards scattered around are just decoration for the investor tour.

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1 year ago 46.2K views 0 shares

programmingPeaked | programming-memes, program-memes, internet-memes, IT-memes, cs-memes, graph-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io

Content this is so fucking funny the internet really was better 10 years ago Apr 282005 Want a free upholder, download the attachment! LOL Attachments PVTCaboose1337 Graphical Hacker Feb 1,2006 Messages: 9,501 (1.92day) Dallas, Texas 1200 System Specs v Free Cup Holder.exe 98 KB Views: 12,823 Apr 28, 2006 what does it do? edit nevermind, it just open the cd-tom drive. K

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Absolutely Diabolical

Programming Webdev Devops Javascript Frontend

11 days ago 207.8K views 0 shares

Absolutely Diabolical

You know that one dev on your team who just wants to watch the world burn? Yeah, they pushed a breaking change to a dependency and reset the "days without npm incident" counter back to zero. Again. The JavaScript ecosystem is held together by duct tape and the prayers of overworked maintainers. One rogue package update and suddenly your entire CI/CD pipeline is screaming at you at 3 AM. The best part? It's always some obscure transitive dependency you didn't even know existed that decides to introduce a breaking change in a patch version. Pro tip: Pin your dependencies. Lock that package-lock.json like your production uptime depends on it. Because it does.