Please Don't Tell Anyone How I Live

Content SAFELY ENDANGERED HEY IT'S-A THE JAVA BROS! Java MAMA, WHY-A YOU NEVER REMEMBER MY NAME? I'M-A SORRY Microsoft Java C ProarammerHumor.io

Content THIS UGLY SON OF Create A BITCH Became A Senior Software Engineer In Just 3 WEEKS and basically, you are fucking stupid

Content My code at 2:30AM deciding it wants to work now: You can rest now.

Content Why someone would use as a first programming language: Python: For it's simple syntax Java: To learn basic computer science concepts C: See Java BASIC: They were in cryogenic storage since 1968 Bash: To make themselves feel productive Git: To actually, why would someone use Git as their FIRST language? HTML: To make themselves feel like a programmer CSS: To make themselves feel like a cooler programmer JavaScript: They have a really good idea for a website TypeScript: They have a REALLY good idea for a website Brainfuck: They want to gain new respect for Alan Turing C: Meth addict that needs the same speed from their language C: Cocaine addict that needs the same speed from their language Carbon: To get a head-start on the 10-year job requirement PHP: Masochism Fortran: Masochism but with a better paycheck Rust: Cult induction Microsoft Excel: To feel like a geek without being a programmer Game of Life: Ooh... pretty squares.

Content Bloomberg Businessweek March 18, 2019 The Apology Machine Facebook says it cares. Is that enough? switch (publicAgotoss case 'empathetic' setVision0 makeEy Contact (); delay .then (Osa f speakI AM SORRY ) coreTemp(CurrentCoralemp 4.05) ; ductControll .tears (2) delay ) then (0) wipeTear return null; default: return userHarvest. versions 167462683 ; ProdrammerHumor.io

Content YOU'RE EATING RECURSION SAFELY ENDANGERED SWEET JESUS, POON! THAT'S NOT HONEY SAFELY ENDANGERED SWEET JESUS, POOH. THAT'S NOT HONEY YOU'RE EATING RECURSION