One Line Of Code, Two Games Of Procrastination

Content Colleagues and friends buying them thigh-high socks for Christmas Programmers

Content The best programming language is...

Content junior dev IM NOT ASHAMED OF MY CODE senior dev EXACTLY. THAT'S THE PROBLEM. YOU SHOULD BE.

Ah yes, the classic "I need to convert an integer to binary so let me just check the Arduino forums" rabbit hole. Sure, bitRead() exists, but why use a simple built-in function when you can waste 3 hours writing your own implementation, debugging it until 2AM, and then finally discovering the function that was there all along? The real meta here is that we all pretend Stack Overflow isn't our first stop. "I'll figure it out myself" is just code for "I'll try for 5 minutes before frantically googling and copy-pasting someone else's solution while muttering 'I knew that' under my breath."

OH MY GOD, the EXISTENTIAL CRISIS every CS student faces when they realize their degree is basically just fancy math with extra steps! 😱 You sign up thinking you'll be hacking mainframes and creating the next Facebook, but SURPRISE! It's just calculus and discrete mathematics wearing a trench coat! The cosmic horror of discovering that the cool programming career you dreamed of is actually built on a foundation of mathematical theorems that have been stalking you since high school. And honey, that astronaut with the gun? That's just the senior developers who've accepted this traumatic truth years ago. They're not even sorry about it!

The universal startup formula: someone with zero technical knowledge but a "revolutionary idea" chasing down the nearest programmer they can find. "I'll handle the business side" translates to "I'll take 90% equity while you build the entire product." The programmer's running away is the most technically accurate part of the whole scenario. Just another day where someone thinks their Uber-but-for-dog-walkers concept is worth billions while the implementation is apparently just "some coding stuff."