Me and the boys validating each other's programming skills on LinkedIn

Content Karen Kringle KarenMN 2 Follow He's making a database He's sorting it twice SELECT from contacts WHERE behavior 'nice' SQL Clause is coming to town RETWEETS 3,960 LIKES 2,920 5:02 AM - 16 Dec 2015

The time dilation joke hits harder than a production outage on Friday afternoon! This scene from Interstellar perfectly captures the absurdity of job requirements in tech. Companies casually asking for "5+ years experience" in technologies that have existed for 3 years, while junior devs need to somehow accumulate decades of experience just to get their foot in the door. The cosmic irony is that even if you traveled to a planet where time moves differently and somehow aged your GitHub contributions by 7 years, HR would still ask, "But do you have experience with our proprietary in-house framework that nobody else uses?"

Content Check out this bad boy 32 GB of RAM, 10 TB hard drive Built in Liquid cooling capabilities AND a 3,000 Graphics Card Wow, what are you gonna use it for? Write HTML

Content IF THE WORLD WAS CREATED BY A PROGRAMMER In THE BEGINNINg, THERE WAS THE HEavEN AND THE EArTH BUT THE EARTH WAS FORMLESS AND BUGGY, WITHOUT DOCUMENTATION BY toggl AND THE PROGRAMMER SAW THAT IT WAS NoT GOOD. THEN YOU SAID "LET ThErE BE LIGHT! BUT THE LIGHT Did NOT COMPILE. On THE SECOND DAY YOU MERGE WATER YOU CREATE A HACK SO THAT LIGHT IS PART OF THE LAND TO CREATE DARKNESS, YoU NEED TO HIDE THE LAND, BUT THAT'S OK CAUSE CREATURES WONT BE ADDED UNTIL LATER. AND STACKOVERFLOW SAID IT'S FINE MAINES BUT BECAUSE OF THE DEPENDENCY, LIGHT BREAKS AS IS ACCIDENTALL LAND FLOODED YOU CHECK STACKOVERFLOW (IN THE DARKNESS IT's THE ThiRD DAY. YOU TRY TO ADD CREATURES YOU ADD THEM IN THE TURNS OUT THE CREATURES IN THE DARKNESS, BUT BROWSER USING COOKIES, THERE'S NO LAND WITHOUT WHICH UNFORTUNATELY NEEDED TO BE ADDED SOONER MAKES THEM MORTAL BUt The CLIent FORGOT To LIGHT, AND YOU CAN'T HAVE LIGHT BECAUSE OF THE MENTION THAT WATER. IT'S THE FOURTH DAY. YOU DECIDE TO USE C TO CREATE A BALLOON YOU ALSO USE STL TURNS OUT THE ISSUES FOR ABSTRACTIONS AND THaT INFLATES THE EARTH IT WORKS OUT GREAT WERE CAUSED BY THE WITH FLAT EARTH DESIGN COMPLICATIONS WHATSOEVER! IT'S ThE FIFtH DaY YOU START ADDING PEOPLE TO HELP You. ON THe SIXTH DAY YoU LOOk AT THE CHAOS YOU CREATED DANGLING YOU DECIDE TO CREATE THEM IN YOUR LIKENESS, WHICH IS A MISTAKE REACT REACT THEY IMMEDIATELY POPULATE THE EARTH WITH HACKS, FADS AND UNNECESSARY JAVASCRIPT LIBRARIES (FUCKIT.JS' QUERY YOU ATTEMPT TO LEAD PEOPLE BACK TO SENSIBLE PROGRAMMING, BUT IT IS TOO LATE- EVERYTHING RUNS ON DEPENDENCIES DAYTIMEAIR.JS HORIZON SEA.JS REALISTIC.WAVES.JS BETTERBANKS.J. BASE.JS ON THE SEVENTH DAY YoU REALLY WANT TO REST, BUT YOU NEED TO ORGANISE ALL You've CREATE GO TOGGL.COM

[text]

Ah, the Rust evangelism strike force in their natural habitat. Above ground, we have the beautiful C language basking in the sunlight, nurturing an ecosystem that's been thriving for decades. Meanwhile, underground, the Grim Reaper himself is filming a documentary about the angry Rust crab that's convinced everyone C programmers are just one null pointer dereference away from total system collapse. After 20 years in this industry, I've seen this movie before. Some poor C dev is just trying to climb out of the pit while Rust zealots are down there with their memory safety pitchforks and ownership model torches. Sure, my code segfaults occasionally, but at least I don't have to fight the borrow checker at 3 AM while questioning my career choices.