I Won'T Stop

The classic security theater of development. Two door handles secured by a padlock that's completely bypassing the actual locking mechanism. Sure, it looks secure to management walking by, much like that code you cobbled together from Stack Overflow snippets without reading a single line of documentation. Is it actually secure? Absolutely not. Will it pass code review? Somehow, yes. Just don't touch it or breathe near it - that's how production incidents are born.

Content LEGACY CODE IT WORKED FOR ES MILLION YEARS. MO ONE KNOWS HOW. NO ONE KNOWS VIEL.

Content 4GHz CPU 2TB FUSION DRIVE 32GB OF RAM WOW THATS WORKING FAST print("Hello World) Hello World

Content the senior watching me paste entire files of proprietary code into chatgpt (i forgot i was screen-sharing)

That moment when you're thrown into maintaining legacy code and discover it's a minefield of undocumented edge cases waiting to explode. The look of pure existential terror says it all—you've entered the code equivalent of deep space, where no one can hear you scream about missing null checks and mysterious conditional logic that somehow keeps the whole system from imploding. The brave soul's final transmission before being consumed by the void of technical debt.

The fastest way to burn through $100M? Just whisper "AWS" and watch your bank account evaporate. That SRE knew exactly what they were doing - nothing drains a budget faster than spinning up a few "right-sized" EC2 instances and forgetting about them for a weekend. The genie immediately adding a fourth rule is basically Amazon's business model in a nutshell. Honestly, at least gambling gives you a chance of winning something back.