I Repeat Do Not Touch Any Code

Behold! The midnight saga of a programmer's life! Mom walks in with her cheerful "You're already up, son?" not realizing you haven't actually gone to bed YET because your code decided to throw a tantrum at 4AM! 💀 That error message might as well be your epitaph: "Unexpected { on line 32" - THE AUDACITY! A single curly brace bringing your entire existence crashing down! And then the program has the NERVE to exit with code 4, like it's giving YOU a rating out of 10 for your life choices! How do you explain to your sweet mother that you're not an early bird but a nocturnal debugging gremlin who hasn't seen sunlight in 48 hours? Impossible!

The code is literally importing a module called wtf_am_i_doing with a goto statement in Python. That's the programming equivalent of bringing a chainsaw to perform surgery. Python deliberately avoided including goto because it's considered harmful to code structure - yet someone created an entire package to reintroduce this programming sin. And then used it to create spaghetti code that jumps around like a caffeinated squirrel. The execution flow is completely unhinged - we start at main() , jump to 'start' , print a message, jump to 'middle' , print another message, then jump to 'end' . It's like watching someone solve a maze by tunneling through the walls instead of following the path. The worst part? It actually works. This is the kind of code that makes senior developers wake up screaming at night.

THE ABSOLUTE DRAMA of Linux discovering its own demographic! First, a furry admin posts some UwU nonsense, causing the official Linux account to have a COMPLETE MELTDOWN and try to fire them. But then—PLOT TWIST—they discover that a whopping 40% of Linux users are furries! 💀 The sheer PANIC as they realize they can't alienate nearly half their userbase is just *chef's kiss*. Capitalism wins again! Nothing says "principles for sale" quite like discovering your penguin-loving community is also heavily into animal costumes!

DARLING, SWEETIE, HONEY CHILD! 💅 You haven't lived until you've inherited code where some ABSOLUTE PSYCHOPATH decided that variable declarations should be wrapped in try-catch blocks! Like, what kind of trauma led to this?! Are they expecting the variable to PHYSICALLY ASSAULT them during initialization?! "Oh no, my string might throw an exception when I declare it!" PLEASE! This is the coding equivalent of wearing a helmet to eat soup! I CAN'T EVEN! 🙄

Content Aleksey Shipilv shipilev : After school, I decided whether to go to law school or become a programmer. I decided that I didn't want to delve into a confusing mess of contradictory pseudo-formal texts and their interpretations by people of varving degrees of expertise and their conflicting interests. And I became a programmer. Damn...