I Don't Know What Vibe Coding Is

Content JF Bastien ifbastien The fastest programming language is clearly "c" because that's the speed of light and nothing can even approach it. 02:30 71020 Twitter Web App 226 Retweets and comments 1,321 Likes

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When you ask ChatGPT to build a file upload feature and it confidently tells you that you can upload up to -2 files . Negative file uploads? Truly revolutionary. We've gone beyond zero-day exploits to negative-day features. The error message is chef's kiss: "Remove 2 to continue." So basically, you need to delete files you haven't even uploaded yet. It's like being in debt before you even open your wallet. The AI has mastered quantum file management where files exist in a state of negative existence. Nothing screams "production-ready" quite like input validation written by something that doesn't understand numbers can't be negative in this context. But hey, at least it's consistent with the quality of code you get when you blindly copy-paste AI suggestions without reading them first.

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The great equalizer has arrived. Your code doesn't work because it's broken. Their code works until it suddenly doesn't. Both end up in the same place: frantically Googling error messages at 3 AM. The false confidence of "it works on my machine" is just a countdown timer to inevitable failure. At least broken code has the decency to fail consistently. Code that works and then stops? That's just psychological warfare. The debugging process is identical either way: add print statements, remove print statements, add them back, question your career choices, and eventually blame a library update from 2019.

The eternal bond between developers and their overheating machines! Your CPU fans are screaming at 7000 RPM while running Docker containers, VS Code, and Chrome with 47 Stack Overflow tabs, yet you refuse to close anything because "you might need it later." The laptop is practically melting through your desk, but hey—at least you're both hot stuff! Next step: coding on the balcony in December because your apartment's thermostat can't keep up with your debugging session.