Hot Sauce For The Coding Soul

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Content RAM DRIVES? STORE DATA IN THE CPU CACHE

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The brutal truth about our coding abilities has been scientifically quantified! Apparently "vibe coders" who just throw code at the wall without thinking hit a respectable 52.8% accuracy. But add some actual thinking to the process and—boom—74.9%! Meanwhile, Stack Overflow engineers (aka professional copy-pasters) manage 69.1% accuracy, which is suspiciously close to a meme number. And those "senior engineers with 10+ years experience"? A humbling 30.8%—because they're too busy overthinking edge cases and muttering about how "we did it better in Perl." The real genius is realizing we're all just making it up as we go. The more you know, the more you realize you don't know!

If programming languages were weapons of choice, this is what we'd all be carrying. C++ is basically that Swiss Army knife with 500 functions you'll never use but can't throw away. JavaScript? Those kitchen scissors that somehow cut everything except what you actually need them for. Python gets the chainsaw because it chops through problems with brute simplicity (until you hit a threading issue). Meanwhile, Assembly programmers are performing surgery with precision scalpels because they're controlling every single byte like the control freaks they are. And then there's Visual Basic... literally just a spoon. Not even a sharp spoon. The kind of tool you give to the intern who can't be trusted with anything dangerous. The real joke? We're all still getting paid to use these ridiculous tools to build things that somehow run the entire world. Sleep tight!