Goat Farmer*

Oh look, it's Monday morning and you're staring at that emergency exit button labeled "quit and become a farmer" like it's the only rational decision left in this godforsaken tech hellscape. Because nothing says "I've had enough of merge conflicts and production bugs" quite like fantasizing about raising goats in the countryside where the only thing that crashes is your tractor. The title says "Goat Farmer*" with an asterisk because let's be real—you're not actually gonna do it. That asterisk is doing ALL the heavy lifting here, representing every excuse you'll make: the mortgage, the student loans, the fact that you don't actually know anything about goats. But every single Monday at 9 AM when your standup meeting starts and someone asks "any blockers?", you're mentally pricing out farmland in rural Montana.