Call Me Daddy

Ah, the classic "chandelier headlights" approach to programming. Nothing says "senior developer with deadlines" quite like ripping some random Stack Overflow solution and jamming it into your codebase with zero understanding of how it works. That car is basically every production system I've ever inherited. Sure, those fancy chandeliers aren't designed to be headlights, but hey—they're emitting light, aren't they? Ship it! The real magic happens three months later when you've forgotten you did this and have to debug why your car keeps blowing fuses and setting small birds on fire.

Every junior dev thinks they've invented encryption when they discover Base64. The number of times I've had to explain that encoding ≠ encryption is probably why my hair's thinning. Base64 is just fancy dress for your data – anyone can undress it with zero effort. It's like hiding your house key under the doormat and calling it a security system. And the response is always the same: "Fine! I'll just use Base128 then!" Sure buddy, throw more digits at the problem. That'll fix it. Just like how writing your password in bigger letters makes it more secure.

Content People starting to learn web development W3Schools

Content You aren't doing it wrong if no one knows what you are doing.

Content My aunt Me explaining that I'm a programmer sO yoU caN fiX mY FriDGe?

Content I don't need explicit casting because it is obvious that yOU are my type