But All Iknow Is Basic

The eternal database developer dilemma: Do I use CRUD (Create, Retrieve, Update, Delete) like a civilized human being, or do I embrace the dark side with FUCK (Find, Update, Create, Kill)? Sure, they're basically the same operations with different names, but one makes you sound professional in meetings while the other accurately describes how you feel at 3 AM when the production database is on fire. The face transition from confusion to enlightenment is every developer realizing that programming terminology is just angry synonyms in a trench coat.

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