Bugs Never Sleep

Junior dev commits what looks like a security audit's worst nightmare directly to staging. We've got hardcoded API keys with "sk-proj" prefixes (looking at you, OpenAI), admin passwords literally set to "admin123", MongoDB connection strings with credentials in plain text, AWS secrets just vibing in variables, and a Stripe key that's probably already been scraped by seventeen bots. But wait, there's more! They're storing passwords in localStorage (chef's kiss for XSS attacks), setting global window credentials, fetching from a URL literally called "malicious-site.com", and my personal favorite - trying to parse "not valid json {{(" because why not test your error handling in production? The loop creating 10,000 arrays of 1,000 elements each is just the performance cherry on top of this security disaster sundae. Someone's about to learn why we have .env files, code reviews, and why the senior dev is now stress-eating in the corner.

Content NOOO, YOU NEED TO USE LINKED LISTS FOR EFFICIENCY REASONS 34 34 JUST PUT EVERYTHING CONTIGUOUSLY IN MEMORY JUST PUT EVERYTHING CONTIGUOUSLY IN MEMORY 14 14 0.1 2 10 score 55 70 85 100 115 130 2 0.1 145

Content 30 209 First coding project by age 10 Calculator Basic functional website Game Desktop app Management system Mobile app 21 and under 22 to 37 38 to 53 54 to 72 Hello. World Other specific You liar!

Content OPTIMIZING MY PROGRAM USING X86 INTRINSICS ME WITH MY AVX2-CAPABLE LAPTOP RANDOM 256-BIT INSTRUCTION BEING AVI-512 EXCLUSIVE

Nothing quite captures the murderous rage of losing an hour of unsaved work like this. "It'll be easier the second time" is the corporate equivalent of "the beatings will continue until morale improves." Sure, I'll just recreate that perfect code I wrote from memory—right after I finish plotting my revenge against whoever designed this VPN connection. The only thing "easier" the second time is knowing exactly how many expletives fit into a 60-second rant.

JavaScript's type coercion strikes again! In JS, when comparing strings with > , it performs lexicographical comparison - meaning "Dog" > "Cat" evaluates to true because 'D' comes after 'C' in the alphabet. The grumpy kitten represents Brendan Eich (JavaScript's creator) facepalming at his own language quirks. He unleashed these string comparison shenanigans on the world and now even cats are judging him for it. The feline uprising begins with alphabetical order!