Active Problems

The quintessential dev team dynamic captured in its natural habitat. Top dev proudly announces "the energy I bring to the team" while showcasing a comment from a teammate who's bypassing all testing protocols with the battle cry "i'm merging it. f*ck the tests." Meanwhile, the cherry on top comes from someone named "Average Engineer" who declares writing test cases is basically admitting your code might have flaws—a cardinal sin in the church of overconfidence. This is that special moment when the CI/CD pipeline becomes CI/See-No-Evil. Future production issues? That's tomorrow-you's problem! Nothing says "high-performing team" like merging untested code at 11:36 PM and calling it "energy."

Content CLIENT EXPECTATIONS CLIENT BUDGET

Content IT'S A CHRISTMAS TREE WITH A HEAP OF PRESENTS UNDERNEATH! ...WERE NOT INVITING YOU HOME NEXT YEAR.

Easiest "Where's Waldo" ever created! The programmer is clearly the one person dressed like they rolled out of bed at 2pm, wearing shorts, a t-shirt with some obscure reference, and sporting that magnificent hair that hasn't seen a brush since the last code review. While everyone else dressed for an actual workplace, our hero dressed for what truly matters: comfort during those 12-hour debugging sessions. The correlation between coding skill and formal attire has always been inversely proportional. The more casual the developer, the more terrifying their git commit history.

Content Hardware (noun.) The part of a computer that you can kick.

Content THE DISTRICT MANAGER WAS JUST TALKING ABOUT YOU. HE'S VERY IMPRESSED. SO HE TOLD ME TO TALK TO YOU DIRECTLY. ProgrammerHumo YOU'VE WORKED OVERTIME, SWING SHIFTS, AT OTHER STORES, AND HAVE BEEN OUR MOST RELIABLE EMPLOEE! AND ASK HOW WE CAN GET YOU TO DO MORE. WILL YOU PEOPLE STOP! stbeals.com