"PHP is dead"

Content Nameless Today at 17:06 PHP is shit You can't change my mind. SourceCodeM Today at 17:11 no one will try

Content This subreddit in a nutshell. GOOD python java c php some other language BAD (RESER

Content CAN'T HAVE SECURITY VULNERABILITIES ON YOUR WEBSITE IF EVERY REQUEST CRASHES THE SERVER imaflip.com

The programming community's greatest hits, served daily at the language-bashing diner! First up, JavaScript is bad (groundbreaking). Then the shocking revelation that Java is verbose (who knew?). And for dessert, the classic "PHP is terrible too" take. It's like watching someone discover fire in 2023 and expecting applause. The true art here isn't the hot takes—it's how we keep recycling the same three jokes while nodding sagely as if we've just dropped profound wisdom. Revolutionary stuff, truly.

Content yeff yephph Follow What does this even mean to me v Hello Jeffrey, Unfortunately due to company policy, we are unable to offer positions to people with the name Jeffrey since it will not work with our database schema 1:03 AM - 12 Apr 2020 4,740 Retweets 59,001 Likes

Content ?php header ("Content-type: texthtml; charsetutf-8"); This is a warning to any poor soul who may have to deal with this code. I took over this criminal piece of chaos from a monkey named Joel who I assume had been given a typewriter by Mephistopheles himself. For reasons I have yet been unable to fathom, he decided to patch together this thing using a BaseX setup hardwired into an unfixably broken Manjaro VM, queried by a handwritten plate of uncommented PH spaghetti fit to feed an army of people with a serious death wish, without any framework or CMS. The very long BaseX script, very long PH presenter and very long XSLT stylesheet mostly perform the same heuristic document structuring for different components and are supposed to produce compatible results, but I bet they have mismatches somewhere. Since Prof. T just wanted a few small functional enhancements, I decided to just patch it and keep the general setup. Unless you were hired to correct some spelling mistakes, DO NOT FOLLOW IN MY STEPS. Putting up with this simulation of how a goldfish would design a system has literally given me CLINICAL DEPRESSION. This is not an exaggeration, I am writing this after a prolonged medical therapy - mostly successful, thanks for asking, but not fun. I wouldn't wish this code on anybody who isn't a manager at Oracle or Facebook, and therefore give you this sincere advice: Nuke this. Take the XSLT if you must, and then nuke the app and recreate it in Django or whatever works for you. I would do it myself, but I risked a relapse simply by opening this file again to write this comment. Dear brother or sister, I wish you all the luck and strength in the world and hope it will be enough. Farewell. error reporting (E ALL); ini set ("display errors", true); print '?xmi version"1.o" encoding"UTFg" 7'