Signs Of A Digital Stroke

The career trajectory of a self-proclaimed "Database Administrator" who uses Excel instead of proper RDBMS solutions. First frame: driving a Ferrari, confidently waving, peak hubris. Second frame: same Ferrari being towed away—the inevitable system collapse when your 50MB spreadsheet with 17 VLOOKUPs finally corrupts during a critical demo. The technical debt collector has arrived. Should've normalized those tables instead of color-coding cells as your "foreign key strategy."

Content Fields Friday Monday Saturday Sunday Thursday Tuesday Wednesday 5 1 6 2 3 Indicates Friday. Indicates Monday. Indicates Saturday. Indicates Sunday. Indicates Thursday. Indicates Tuesday. Indicates Wednesday. INTERN AT MICROSOFT

Content 10 WAYS TO TROLL YOUR DEVELOPER 1: CHANGE ALL CONSOLE SETTINGS TO BLACK ON BLACK. STRANGE... NO DEBUG PRINTOUTS 2: HAVE THEM FIX OLD CODE. 3: REQUIRE IT TO WORK ON ALL PLATFORMS. IT WILL HAVE TORUN ON IOS, ANDROID, WINDOWS PHONE AND THIS ROTARY FROM 1931. 4: HIRE UNQUALIFIED DEVELOPERS. CHAD WILLBE DOING UI. 5: DISREGARD ANY NEED FOR TESTING. A TESTING PHASE ISN'T REALLY IN THE BUDGET IT'S JUST GONNA HAVE TO WORK 6: REQUIRE IT TO WORK FOR ALL USER GROUPS. MR. NIBBLES SAID ITS VERY UNINTUITIVE. MEOW. 7: POP YOUR HEAD IN EVERY FIVE MINUTES TOROND OVER YOUR STUPID COWORKERS SHARON USES A QUESTION MARK WHEN SHE GOOGLES A QUESTIONI 8: BLOCK ALL ACCESS TO STACK OVERFLOW. NOW, NOW, NO CHEATING CELO 9: MAKE ALL TASKS TOP PRIORITY. THE DATABASE NEEDS TO BEUP AND RUNNING ASAP, AS WELL AS THE AUDIO ENGINE, CRITICAL AND ALSO 3D BUTTON SHADING. 10:ASK A DEV TO 'FIX YOUR COMPUTER' MR. NIBBLES WAS WATCHING GOOD WIFE AND SUDDENLY THIS BLUE THINGY CAME War and Peas

Finally, a keyboard that matches my coding style! Just one giant tab key for those who believe proper indentation is the only thing that matters in code reviews. Who needs actual logic when your code looks good? Microsoft really understands that 90% of programming is just frantically hitting tab until your code aligns perfectly before the senior dev walks by your desk. The other 10% is Stack Overflow, obviously.

Ah, the classic dad joke of programming languages! The meme plays on the pronunciation confusion between C# (C Sharp) and what it looks like visually (C with a hashtag). It's that moment when you've been staring at code for 12 hours straight and your brain starts making these connections. Microsoft really missed a marketing opportunity here. They could've just embraced the confusion and called it "C Fence" or "C Waffle" and saved countless junior devs from embarrassing themselves in interviews. The real tragedy? Some poor soul out there definitely called it "C Hashtag" during a job interview and is still having nightmares about it.

Content PATricK StaR I'm an administrator this file has admin lock So as an admin I should be able to modifv it so let me modify it Yup. Yup.- That makes sense to me. Access denied