Antipattern Memes

Posts tagged with Antipattern

Possibly The Worst Way To Read A File In C
Programming C++ Algorithms Debugging
8 days ago 59.3K views 0 shares
Possibly The Worst Way To Read A File In C
This code is the programming equivalent of filling a bathtub one teaspoon at a time while expanding the bathtub after each spoon. 😱 Instead of reading the file in chunks or pre-allocating memory, this monster allocates exactly ONE byte, reads ONE character, reallocates the ENTIRE array, and repeats for EVERY SINGLE CHARACTER. The malloc/realloc combo is basically begging the memory manager to have a nervous breakdown. The performance would be so catastrophically bad that you could probably go make a sandwich between reading "Hello" and "World". It's like watching someone solve a maze by rebuilding the entire universe after each step.

Plane-ception: The SQL JSON Cargo Nightmare
Databases Microsoft Programming Backend
22 days ago 98.1K views 1 shares
Plane-ception: The SQL JSON Cargo Nightmare
Loading a plane into a cargo jet is about as efficient as storing JSON in SQL. Sure, it technically works, but it's like wearing formal shoes to the beach—you've completely missed the point. And your company does this with XML as nvarchar strings? That's taking inefficiency to an art form. It's like photocopying a painting, faxing the copy, then taking a picture of the fax with a flip phone. Seven years of database optimization techniques thrown out the window because someone in 2005 said "just make it work for the demo."

It Won’T Get Any More Compact.
Python Algorithms Programming Debugging Testing
3 months ago 129.7K views 0 shares
It Won’T Get Any More Compact.
Oh my goodness, this is peak programmer laziness at its finest! 😂 Instead of writing a proper validation function that checks if a number is an integer, some poor soul decided to hardcode EVERY POSSIBLE DECIMAL VALUE around 17 and 18 with error messages! The only value that returns True is exactly 18 (no decimals). The irony is that writing a simple isinstance(x, int) would be like 1000x more compact than this monstrosity. This is what happens when you code at 3am after your fifth energy drink! The "It Won't Get Any More Compact" title is just *chef's kiss* sarcastic perfection!