Uh Oh

Content function to fuck UP the database Idef fuckup() : conn sqlite3.connect('database.db') C conn. cursor ( ) c.execute ("DROP TABLE users") conn.commit( conn.close () Posted in rprogramminghorror by umyguygetshigh ProarammerHumor.io reddit

Content YO MISTER WHITE! someone's at the door who is it Swapping without using a third variable a a b: b a - b: a a - b; JESSE! JESSE!!! YOUR INTEGER OVERFLOW VULNERABILITY IS MAKING DENNIS RITCHIE ROLL IN HIS GRAVE! THE MODERN LLVM COMPILER PIPELINE HAS SPENT DECADES OPTIMIZING TEMPORARY VARIABLE ALLOCATION WITH SSA FORM, WHILE YOUR CLEVER CODE IS DESTROYING BOTH THE ARM AND X86 PIPELINE'S ABILITY TO PERFORM SPECULATIVE EXECUTION! YOUR ARITHMETIC TRICKS ARE CREATING SERIAL DEPENDENCIES IN THE CPU'S RESERVATION STATIONS, COMPLETELY NULLIFYING OUT-OF-ORDER EXECUTION! THE L1 CACHE PREFETCH LOGIC CAN'T ESTABLISH ANY COHERENT STRIDE PATTERN, THE BRANCH PREDICTION UNIT IS STALLING ON EVERY SPECULATIVE PATH, AND THE LOAD-STORE UNIT'S MEMORY DISAMBIGUATION LOGIC CAN'T MAINTAIN COHERENCY! AND DON'T YOU DARE SUGGEST YOUR XOR SWAP - IT CREATES A SERIAL DEPENDENCY CHAIN THAT DESTROYS INSTRUCTION LEVEL PARALLELISM AND PREVENTS BOTH MICRO-OP AND MACRO-OP FUSION ON MODERN ARCHITECTURESI A CLEAN TEMPORARY VARIABLE ALLOWS THE REGISTER ALLOCATOR TO MAINTAIN OPTIMAL REGISTER PRESSURE AND ENABLES STORE-TO-LOAD FORWARDING! BUT NO. YOU HAD TO PLAY CODE GOLF AND CREATE NON-TEMPORAL MEMORY ACCESS PATTERNS THAT DESTROY CACHE LOCALITY! THE PAGE TABLE WALKER IS THRASHING, AND THE TLB HIT RATE HAS DROPPED TO SINGLE DIGITS!

Content David Githu DavidGithucodes 13h Replying to CatMcGeeCode My mum thinks I'm a miracle worker when she sees vscode filled out with all manner of spells and witchcraft. 2 17 2 7 Simon S A 0 iokiwi 10h Gonna start calling my scripts 'incantations 9 1 17 1 12

Content SOFTWARE ENGINEERS FANG CLIMATE TECH

Content Hacker Scripts Based on a true story: xxx: OK, so, our build engineer has left for another company. The dude was literally living inside the terminal. You know, that type of a guy who loves Vim, creates diagrams in Dot and writes wiki-posts in Markdown... If something - anything - requires more than 90 seconds of his time, he writes a script to automate that. xxx: So we're sitting here, looking through his, uhm, "legacy" xxx: You're gonna love this xxx: smack-my-bitch-up.sh - sends a text message "late at work" to his wife (apparently). Automatically picks reasons from an array of strings, randomly. Runs inside a cron-job. The job fires if there are active SSH-sessions on the server after 9pm with his login. xxx: kumar-asshole.sh - scans the inbox for emails from "Kumar" (a DBA at our clients). Looks for keywords like "help", "trouble", "sorry etc. If keywords are found - the script SSHes into the clients server and rolls back the staging database to the latest backup. Then sends a reply "no worries mate, be careful next time". xxx: hangover.sh - another cron-job that is set to specific dates. Sends automated emails like "not feeling wellgonna work from home" etc. Adds a random "reason" from another predefined array of strings. Fires if there are no interactive sessions on the server at 8:45am. xxx: (and the oscar goes to) fucking-coffee.sh - this one waits exactly 17 seconds (!), then opens a telnet session to our coffee-machine (we had no frikin idea the coffee machine is on the network, runs linux and has a TCP socket up and running) and sends something like sys brew. Turns out this thing starts brewing a mid-sized half-caf latte and waits another 24 (I) seconds before pouring it into a cup. The timing is exactly how long it takes to walk to the machine from the dudes desk. xxx: holy sht I'm keeping those

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