Dang It Was Me

Windows promises to update before shutting down. You, being the optimistic fool you are, think "maybe this time it'll be quick." Narrator: it wasn't. Meanwhile, Linux closes all apps gracefully in 10 seconds flat and shuts down before you can blink. The penguin doesn't negotiate with processes—it just terminates them with extreme prejudice via systemd. Sure, systemd might be controversial in some circles, but at least it doesn't hold your machine hostage for 45 minutes installing "updates for updates" while you contemplate your life choices.

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Content PCGAMER.COM Larry Tesler, inventor of the cut, copy, and paste commands, dies at 74 Every Programmer Ever:

A tragic love story between standard output and /dev/null. One streams data with emotional attachment, the other is literally designed to discard everything it receives without a trace. In Unix systems, redirecting to /dev/null is basically sending your output into a digital black hole. It's the relationship equivalent of talking to someone who's permanently on mute with their camera off during a Zoom call.

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Cute cat doing cute cat things until you realize it edited your bootloader. The escalation from "sneaked in your house" to "modified critical system files" is the kind of chaos energy only a sysadmin would appreciate. Sure, sit on my couch, eat my pasta, but touch /usr/bin/vim and we're gonna have problems. That smug little face in the last panel knows exactly what it did. No remorse. Just vibes and filesystem destruction.