Why are you lying

Content my linkedin profile R, python, javascript, shiny, dplyr, purrr, ditto, ggplot, d3, canvas, spark, sawk, pyspark, sparkly, lodash, lazy, bootstrap, jupyter, vulpix, git, flask, numpy, pandas, feebas, scikit, pgm, bayes, h2o.ai, sparkling-water, tensorflow, keras, onyx, ekans, hadoop, scala, unity, metapod, gc, clc, krebase, neo4j, hadoop. I typically ask recruiters to point out which of these are pokemon.

Content Kat Maddox ctrIshifti 3h tech has three jokes: stackoverflow is mean, javascript is bad, and dark mode is good. my life's goal is to discover a fourth joke 975 1773 669 Kat Maddox ctrIshifti 13m my apologies, quitting vim is the fourth joke. As all 4 tech jokes have now been discovered, I will be closing this account. Goodbye 172 M87

Content Hacker Scripts Based on a true story: xxx: OK, so, our build engineer has left for another company. The dude was literally living inside the terminal. You know, that type of a guy who loves Vim, creates diagrams in Dot and writes wiki-posts in Markdown... If something - anything - requires more than 90 seconds of his time, he writes a script to automate that. xxx: So we're sitting here, looking through his, uhm, "legacy" xxx: You're gonna love this xxx: smack-my-bitch-up.sh - sends a text message "late at work" to his wife (apparently). Automatically picks reasons from an array of strings, randomly. Runs inside a cron-job. The job fires if there are active SSH-sessions on the server after 9pm with his login. xxx: kumar-asshole.sh - scans the inbox for emails from "Kumar" (a DBA at our clients). Looks for keywords like "help", "trouble", "sorry etc. If keywords are found - the script SSHes into the clients server and rolls back the staging database to the latest backup. Then sends a reply "no worries mate, be careful next time". xxx: hangover.sh - another cron-job that is set to specific dates. Sends automated emails like "not feeling wellgonna work from home" etc. Adds a random "reason" from another predefined array of strings. Fires if there are no interactive sessions on the server at 8:45am. xxx: (and the oscar goes to) fucking-coffee.sh - this one waits exactly 17 seconds (!), then opens a telnet session to our coffee-machine (we had no frikin idea the coffee machine is on the network, runs linux and has a TCP socket up and running) and sends something like sys brew. Turns out this thing starts brewing a mid-sized half-caf latte and waits another 24 (I) seconds before pouring it into a cup. The timing is exactly how long it takes to walk to the machine from the dudes desk. xxx: holy sht I'm keeping those

The existential crisis of JavaScript in two panels. Top: sad face, "Nobody understands me." Bottom: sudden realization, "Maybe I'm JavaScript." JavaScript: the only language where [] == ![] is true, typeof NaN is "number", and adding arrays gives you strings. No wonder therapists refuse to take JS as a client – its issues are beyond professional help.

Frontend developers sprinting toward the newest framework like Tom with a comically oversized mallet! The eternal cycle continues - you've barely mastered React when suddenly Vue looks interesting, then Next.js catches your eye, and now Svelte is the hot new thing. Meanwhile, your half-finished projects and deprecated skills pile up faster than npm dependencies. The JavaScript ecosystem doesn't have versioning—it has reincarnation.

Content Exercise 4: Create the following pattern using nested for-loops: void Main() for (int 1 0; 1 1; 1) ( for (int j 0; j 1; j) ( Console.Write(