Time Dilation In Programming Languages

The programming time dilation effect is real. While Java developers are patting themselves on the back for not having to manage memory, Assembly programmers are literally aging seven human years for every hour spent coding. Meanwhile, Python swoops in with its "life's too short to use semicolons" energy, compressing what would be 34 minutes of suffering into a single one-liner. It's basically programming's version of Interstellar, except instead of a black hole, it's the crushing gravity of syntax complexity that's warping time.