The Only Book That Makes Programmers Cry

Content buzzfeed.com 11. On birthdays: why tf is there a birthday candle for 0 nobody turns zero years old lol 8 2.48 Twitter ) P Proara

Content Kyle Shook 4 elyktrix Deleting Android Studio. 1. Kyle Shook4 elyktrix - 18h Installing Android Studio. Wish me luck. ProdrammerHumor.io

Content IF THE WORLD WAS CREATED BY A PROGRAMMER IN THe BEGINNING, THERE WAS ThE hEaven AND THE EARTH BUT THE EARTH WAS FORMLESS AND BUGGY, WITHOUT DOCUMENTATION BY toggl AND THE PROGRAMMER SAW THAT IT WAS NOT GOOD THEN YOU SAID "LET THERE BE LIGHT! BUT ThE LIGHT Did NOT COMPILE. On THE SECOND DAY YOU MERGE WATER YOU CREATE HACK SO THAT LIGHT IS PART OF THE LAND TO CREATE DARKNESS, YOU NEED TO HIDE THE LAND, BUt That's OK CAUSE CREATURES WONT BE ADDED UNTIL LATER. AND STACKOVERFLOW SAID IT'S FINE Wherev BUT BECAUSE OF ThE DEPENDEncY, LIGHT BREAKS AS LAND IS ACCIDENTALLY CLOODED YOU CHECK STACKOVERFLOW (IN THE DARKNESS) IT'S ThE THIRD DAY. YOU TRY TO ADD CREATURES YOU ADD THEM IN THE TURNS OUT the CREATURES IN THE DARKNESS, BUT BROWSER USINg COoKIES, NEEDED TO BE ADDED SOONER, THERE'S NO LAND WITHOUT we Tart UNFORTUNATELY MAKES THEM MORTAL BuT The CLienT FOrGoT to LIGHT, AND YOU CAN'T HAVE LIGHT BECAUSE OF THE MENTION THAT WATER IT's THE FOuRTH DAY. YOU DECIDE TO USE C YOU ALSO USE ST TURNS OUT THE ISSUES TO CREATE A BALLOON FOR ABSTrACTIONS,AND THAT INFLATES THE EARTH IT WORKS OUT GREAT WERE CAUSED BY THE WITH FLAT EARTH DESIGN COMPLICATIONS WHATSOEVER! IT'S THE FIFtH DaY YOU START ADDING PeOPLE TO HELP YOU ON THE SIXTH DAY YoU LOOK AT THe CHAOS YOU CREATED ON THE SEVENTH DAY YOU REALLY WANT TO REST BUT YoU NEED To ORGANISE ALL YoU'VE CREATED DANGLING POINTE YOU DECIDE TO CREATE THEM IN YOUR LIKENESS, WHICH IS A MISTAKE REACT THEY IMMEDIATELY POPULATE THE EARTH WITH HACKS FADS AND UNNECESSARY JAVASCRIPT LIBRARIES FUCKIT.JS) SQUERI YOU ATTEMPT TO LEAD PEOPLE BACK TO SENSIBLE PROGRAMMING, BUT IT IS TOO LATE- EVERYTHING RUNS ON DEPENDENCIES. DAVTIMEAIR.JS HORMONE SEA.JS REALISTIC.WAVES.JS BETTERBANKS.JS BASE.JS GIRAFFE.JS SUNDE MONGODB TOGGL.COM MART VIRKUS '17

Content

Content Sith Programmer SithProgrammer We don't use Git in our office (unbelievable right?) so we play AmongUs IRL. Every now and then we call an emergency meeting and decide who wrote these crappy module and sabotaged our plans to meet deadline. 8:07 PM 16 Sep 20 Twitter for Android

The joke here is absolutely brilliant. The top part shows a tweet saying "guys literally only want one thing and it's fucking disgusting" - a popular meme format implying men have shallow desires. But the punchline? The "disgusting" thing developers want is actually clean code compilation with zero errors, zero warnings, and all tests passing. That green success bar is basically developer pornography. The satisfaction of seeing "Compiled with 0 errors and 0 warnings" and "Process finished with exit code 0" is practically a religious experience in the coding world. It's the digital equivalent of a perfect parallel park on your driver's test.