Teach Them Young Or Child Abuse?

Expectation: Writing elegant code with perfect structure and original logic. Reality: WHEEEZE *frantically searching through 2000 lines of code at 3am* "I FORGOR SEMICOLON" And then there's that one missing semicolon that keeps you awake for 4 days straight while your non-programmer friends think you're being dramatic. No, Chad, this isn't like when you "missed her" - this is psychological warfare between me and a punctuation mark that Satan himself invented.

Content Is it time to bring CARS and GUNS into JavaScript? JavaScript has gone from a cute little scripting language to an unstoppable behemoth. But is it doing enough to attract the male audience? The marketing materials out there are all targeting women. Look at React's cute and curvy logo or Vue's pastel colors. And don't even get me started on Github's "octopus cat" logo. Clearly, something needs to be done to attract men. And what do men love? Cars and guns. But first, let's take a step back. Are men really better programmers? To put it bluntly, yes. There's a lot of debate on this topic, but the scientific evidence is

Content me: "2" "2" "2" 20 ? Javascript: Yes

Content People who love javascript People who hate javascript People who hate javascript in public but secretly love it. Async, Await, come to daddy. Daniel Stor; turnoff.us)

Content Python: What if everything was a dict? Java: What if everything was an object? JavaScript: What if everything was a dict and an object? C: What if everything was a pointer? APL: What if everything was an array? Tel: What if everything was a string? Prolog: What if everything was a term? LISP: What if everything was a pair? Scheme: What if everything was a function? Haskell: What if everything was a monad? Assembly: What if everything was a register? Cog: What if everything was a typeproposition? COBOL: WHAT IF EVERYTHING WAS UPPERCASE? C: What if everything was like Java, but different? Ruby: What if everything was monkey patched? Pascal: BEGIN What if everything was structured? END C: What if we added everything to the language? C11: What if we forgot to stop adding stuff? Rust: What if garbage collection didn't exist? Go: What if we tried designing C a second time? Perl: What if shell, sed, and awk were one language? Peri6: What if we took the joke too far? PHP: What if we wanted to make SQL injection easier? VB: What if we wanted to allow anyone to program? VB.NET: What if we wanted to stop them again? Forth: What if everything was a stack? ColorForth: What if the stack was green? PostScript: What if everything was printed at 600dpi? XSLT: What if everything was an XML element? Make: What if everything was a dependency? m4: What if everything was incomprehensibly quoted? Scala: What if Haskell ran on the JVM? Clojure: What if LISP ran on the JVM? Lua: What if game developers got tired of C? Mathematica: What if Stephen Wolfram invented everything? Malbolge: What if there is no god? nixcraft

Content GOT THE PRINCESS! HOW TO SAVE THE PRINCESS BY toggl USING 8 PROGRAMMING Goon SquAD LANGUAGES YOU HAVE JAVASCRIPT YoU SPEnD HOURS PICKING LIBRARIES SETTING UP NODE BUILDING A FRAME WORK FOR THE CASTLE. BY THE TIME YoUrE FINISHED WITH THE FRAME WORK, THE FORT HAS BEEN ABANDONED AND THE PRINCESS HAST MOVED TO ANOTHER CASTIC YOU HAVE YOU HAVE A LIBRARY FOR A CASTLE A LIBRARY FOR THE PRINCESS - CHARGE! YoU RESCUE THE PRINCESS HER DOG, HER ENTIRE WARDROBE EVERYTHING SHE HAS EVER EATEN... FUCK - DID FORGET A NULL -TERMINATOR YOU HAVE C YOU SPEND HOURS TRYING TO EXPRESS THE ENTIRE RESCUE IN A SINGLE LINQ QUERY YOU GIVE UP AND GO TO STACKOVERFLOW TO HAVE JON SKEET RESCUE THE PRINCESS FOR YOU You HAVE JAVA YOU QUICKLY DEPLOY THE RESCUE TO PRODUCTION YOU DISCOVER You'vE LOADED TWO VERSIONS OF THE CASTLE BUT NO PRINCESS YoU HAVE LiSp YOU HAVE Go WE DON'T SUPPORT FREEING CAPTURED PRINCESSES WE ALREADY HAVE THESE FREE PRINCESSES IN THE STANDARD LIBR... ... WAIT, IS THIS THE PRINCESS FROM THE JAVA PANEL YOU HAVE PASCAL YOU DECLARE YOUR PRINCESS CASTLE RESCUE PLAN THeN YOU GO FOR A DRINK FORGET ABOUT THE IMPLEMENTATION YOU HAVE PHP YOU HAVE TO RESCUE THE PRINCESS... ... IN PHP... MART VIRKUS '16 ProdrammerHumor.io g toggl