Tech Workers

Ah yes, the final boss of ergonomics! Nothing says "we hate developers" quite like forcing them to code on a split keyboard that looks like it survived a medieval torture chamber. The project manager probably read an article about "optimizing developer productivity" and decided that physical pain is the secret ingredient. Next week's challenge: coding with oven mitts while standing on one foot. Because if your wrists aren't crying, are you even programming?

The classic software development saga in three acts: Act 1: "We found a bug! Here's a bizarre workaround that makes no logical sense." Act 2: "After thorough investigation, we've confirmed the bizarre workaround actually works. Please use it." Act 3: "After further investigation, we've determined our workaround does absolutely nothing. We have no idea what's happening." Every developer who's ever shipped code is nodding right now. The correlation-causation fallacy is basically a required skill on résumés at this point.

The "future of autonomous vehicles" in a nutshell. Companies hype up their "AI-driven" robotaxis while quietly outsourcing the actual driving to some guy with a gaming steering wheel in a cubicle halfway across the world. It's the tech industry's version of the Wizard of Oz – "pay no attention to the underpaid contractor behind the curtain!" Next time your self-driving car makes an unusually human decision like slowing down for a squirrel or taking that shortcut through the alley, just know there's probably a dude named Rajesh getting paid $5/hour to make sure you don't crash into a tree. Silicon Valley's dirty little secret: most "AI solutions" are just humans in digital disguise.

Behold the evolution of versioning sophistication! From the barbaric simplicity of "1, 2, 3" (did we even have computers back then?), to the refined elegance of "1.0, 1.1, 1.2" that makes project managers feel professional, and finally ascending to godhood with "8086, 80286, 80386" – where you're not just versioning software, you're naming it after the silicon it runs on. Nothing says "I've been in this industry since punch cards" like referencing Intel processors from the 1980s. The true power move isn't semantic versioning – it's naming your releases after increasingly obsolete hardware.

The entire open source revolution—GNU, Linux, Firefox—all born from the collective rage of programmers who couldn't get their printers to work. Nothing motivates innovation like the silent fury of watching a printer smugly display "PC LOAD LETTER" while holding your career hostage. Linus Torvalds probably created Git just to version control his printer troubleshooting attempts.

Oh. My. GAWD. The absolute TRAVESTY of PC building ignorance on display here! 😱 This nephew is committing CARDINAL SINS of hardware understanding - locking his refresh rate at 144Hz while running 1080p (as if that's some technical achievement), drooling over prebuilts when REAL enthusiasts build their own, and claiming he needs more RGB (because obviously more rainbow lights = more computing power). The final nail in this coffin of tech sacrilege? He thinks upgrading from a 3060 Ti to a 4060 is worth bragging about. Honey, that's barely an upgrade - it's like trading your 2015 Honda Civic for a 2016 Honda Civic and calling yourself a car enthusiast! 💅