The GL In OpenGL Stands For "Good Luck"

DARLING, the computer said "Tell a programmer to up VERTEX_BUFFER_SIZE" and I am LITERALLY just the messenger! 💅 What am I supposed to do? Learn C++? Sacrifice my firstborn to the GPU gods? The error message has SPOKEN, and who am I—a mere mortal user—to question its divine wisdom? The audacity of this game engine thinking I have ANY idea what a "dynamic vertex buffer" is! It might as well have asked me to explain quantum physics while juggling flaming chainsaws. I'm just trying to play my game with friends named "asbestosmuncher" and "Cock of the Block" like any normal person!

The duality of developer ethics! While parents and schools drill "plagiarism bad" into our brains, the reality of coding is... slightly different . That NES DPCM bugfix from Super Mario Bros? Just "inspiration" for your game! The stick figure duality is perfect - honest thief vs. defensive "borrower." Nintendo's legal team is typing furiously somewhere while retro game devs nod knowingly. It's not stealing if you call it "referencing legacy implementation patterns." 😏

The eternal battle of GPU upgrades summed up in one frog. While everyone's losing their minds over the RTX 4090 and its ability to heat small villages, this distinguished gentleman is standing firm with his trusty 3070. It's the hardware equivalent of saying "my 2015 Toyota still gets me to work just fine" while your friends finance Tesla payments they can't afford. The 3070 remains a solid card that runs most games without setting your desk on fire or requiring a second mortgage. Revolutionary concept: using hardware until it actually stops meeting your needs!

The existential crisis every new game developer faces when they realize their entire career is just figuring out how to make different shapes not pass through each other. After years of education and dreams of creating the next Elden Ring, it all boils down to "wait, is that box touching that other box?" and "why is this character's arm suddenly disappearing into the wall?" The veterans with the gun have always known the truth - collision detection is the real final boss that never goes away.

The AUDACITY of JavaScript haters when Lua developers are RIGHT THERE! 😱 Lua devs sitting in the corner with their 1-indexed arrays and "nil" instead of null, nervously sweating and praying nobody notices their quirks while everyone's busy roasting JavaScript. It's like watching someone get away with murder while the cops are distracted by a jaywalker. The side-eye is INTENSE because honey, when your language is primarily known for Roblox and WoW addons, maybe don't throw stones from your glass gaming engine!

The career trajectory we never planned for! First, you naively enter game development with stars in your eyes and a degree in hand. Then reality hits—80-hour weeks debugging collision detection, players complaining your water physics aren't "realistic enough," and that one producer who keeps saying "just one more feature." Before you know it, you're burnt out, staring at your IDE with the thousand-yard stare of someone who's implemented the same login screen 37 times. Finally, you reach enlightenment: reject complexity, embrace photosynthesis. Your plants don't have merge conflicts, don't need standups, and never ask "but can we make it pop more?" The ultimate escape from dependency hell is growing actual tomatoes instead of maintaining npm packages with tomato-related names.