Solo Gamedev Be Like

Console gamers sobbing because they can't play a 20-year-old title without paying for yet another remaster, while PC gamers casually run ancient games on cutting-edge hardware like it's no big deal. The true irony? Console makers talk about "ecosystem" while Steam is over here actually preserving gaming history. Your $3000 graphics card running Morrowind at 400 FPS with mods is peak gaming culture.

Ah, the sweet delusion of game developers thinking they've outsmarted players. First, you laugh at clientside prediction, then celebrate with friends. But soon the boss music starts . You add lag compensation? Players counter with anticheats. You implement lag configuration? Players just adapt. And then there's the final boss: PVP balancing in games without clientside prediction - a mythical creature that eats developers for breakfast. Seven years in game networking has taught me one truth: no matter how clever your netcode, players will find ways to make you question your career choices. It's not about winning—it's about how gracefully you lose.

The scariest Halloween costume for GameMaker developers isn't a ghost or zombie—it's the "change instance" tool. That innocent-looking red and blue ball icon circled in red is the digital equivalent of performing heart surgery with your eyes closed. One misclick and your carefully crafted game logic transforms into an unholy abomination. Nothing says "I enjoy chaos" quite like accidentally turning all your player characters into explosive barrels mid-development.

That moment when you've designed a perfectly functional game loop but your brain whispers, "What if we made it exactly like Elden Ring?" The eternal battle between creating something original versus cloning your favorite games. The road to development hell is paved with "inspiration" that turns into feature creep. Pro tip: write down your cool gameplay ideas, sleep on them, then decide if they're actually good or just your brain trying to recreate Dark Souls for the 47th time.

Behold, the pinnacle of game development: storing your entire storyline in a global array and using hardcoded indices to track plot points. Because who needs databases or state machines when you can just check if storyline_array[367] == 1 to determine if you've already done something? The real masterpiece is using instance_destroy() as your universal solution. Lunch with Fern? Destroy the instance. Already completed a task? Destroy the instance. Relationship problems? You guessed it— instance_destroy() . Meanwhile, poor Rhode gets the "Do Nothing" treatment. Clearly the developer's favorite character won the popularity contest. This code is basically the digital equivalent of writing your novel's plot points on sticky notes, scattering them across the floor, and numbering them randomly.

Ah, the project graveyard – where dreams go to hibernate indefinitely. That folder structure on the right isn't just storage, it's a memorial to our collective optimism. We all start with "JUST MAKE IT EXIST FIRST" – that beautiful cyan circle of possibility – convinced this time we'll finish what we started. Then reality kicks in. That 3D spaceship model? That game engine experiment? That revolutionary app idea? All neatly tucked away in folders, waiting for the mythical "when I have time" that never arrives. The true skill isn't starting projects – it's finishing one before getting seduced by the next shiny idea. Meanwhile, our hard drives become digital museums of what-could-have-been.