The Greatest Fairy Tale In Software Engineering

Content Jakob lu0000 jcsrb 6 hours of debugging can save you 5 minutes of reading documentation

OMG, the AUDACITY of some developers! 💀 Instead of fixing their horrifically inefficient spaghetti code, they just throw more RAM and faster CPUs at the problem like that's going to save their algorithmic sins! Honey, your O(n²) monstrosity isn't going to magically become O(log n) just because you bought a shiny new processor. It's like putting a Ferrari engine in a shopping cart and expecting it to win Formula 1. The hardware might be faster, but your code is still a dumpster fire wrapped in a tragedy!

Content me 1 error 585 errors

The eternal struggle of being the "tech person" in the family. First you're desperately trying to explain that programming skills don't magically transfer to printer repair, then five seconds later you're elbow-deep in printer parts because—let's face it—you actually can fix it. Not because of any programming knowledge, but because you've developed the sacred debugging mindset after years of staring at error messages that might as well say "something's wrong lol good luck." The real programming skill is knowing how to Google the right question while maintaining the illusion that you're doing something complicated.

When NASA engineers reject SpaceX but embrace TabX, you know they've finally discovered the true rocket science of code indentation. Sure, launching humans to Mars is impressive, but have you ever seen a perfectly aligned codebase? That's the real moonshot. Developers will literally fight interstellar wars over spaces vs. tabs while their code is still riddled with nested if-statements that look like the aftermath of a keyboard explosion.

Content What we say What we mean Horrible hack Horrible hack that I didn't write Temporary workaround Horrible hack that I wrote It's broken There are bugs in your code It has a few issues There are bugs in my code Obscure Someone else's code doesn't have comments Self-documenting My code doesn't have comments That's why it's an awesome language It's my favorite language and it's really easy to do something in it. You're thinking in the wrong mindset It's my favorite language and it's really hard to do something in it. I can read this Perl script I wrote this Perl script I can't read this Perl script I didn't write this Perl script Bad structure Someone else's code is badly organized Complex structure My code is badly organized Bug The absence of a feature I like Out of scope The absence of a feature I don't like Clean solution It works and I understand it We need to rewrite it It works but I don't understand it emacs is better than vi it's too peaceful here, let's start a flame war vi is better than emacs It's too peaceful here, let's start a flame war IMHO You are wrong Legacy code It works, but no one knows how XCquitVESCESCC I don't know how to quit vi