Thats Evil

Staring at someone else's code with the same intensity as this confused snake is the universal developer experience. The mental gymnastics required to decipher another dev's uncommented spaghetti code feels like trying to read ancient hieroglyphics with a concussion. The irony? We write equally indecipherable code ourselves, convinced it's "self-documenting" until we revisit it 3 months later and wonder which caffeine-fueled demon possessed our keyboard.

JavaScript, you absolute TROLL! 🙄 First you tell us NaN stands for "Not A Number" and then have the AUDACITY to claim its type is 'number'?! The BETRAYAL! The DRAMA! The INCONSISTENCY! It's like JavaScript is gaslighting its own developers with this nonsense. "I'm not a number, but also I AM a number." Pick a lane, JavaScript! This is why developers need therapy!

Non-programmers imagine us locked in epic battles over algorithm efficiency like Godzilla vs Kong, debating the merits of our custom sorting implementations. Meanwhile, our actual bloodsport? Two people in ridiculous costumes having a street fight over whether a variable should be named dateUpdated or updatedDate . The truth hurts. I've seen teams spend 45 minutes in code review debating variable names while the actual bug goes unnoticed. Such is the glamorous life in tech.

Oh how the mighty have fallen! Remember when being told your code looks "machine-generated" was a compliment? Now we've come full circle where both human-written AND AI-generated code get thrown in the same dumpster fire. The ultimate burn isn't comparing your code to a rookie's anymore—it's saying it has that distinct "I asked ChatGPT at 2AM and didn't review it" energy. The real tragedy? The garbage collector can't save either one.

That face when your PM has absolutely no idea what's happening with the junior devs but needs to report something to the senior team. The grimace says it all - somewhere in the codebase, a junior is implementing a sorting algorithm with 17 nested for-loops while another is committing directly to production at 4:59 PM on Friday. Meanwhile, the PM is just trying to figure out how to spin "complete chaos" into "experiencing some minor technical challenges."

The eternal struggle of terminal warriors everywhere. You know you've typed that command a hundred times before, but suddenly your brain decides to play hide-and-seek with basic syntax. So you frantically tap the up arrow key, scrolling through your command history like you're digging for buried treasure. And after passing through 37 variations of git commit messages and that one curl command you copy-pasted from Stack Overflow six months ago, you finally spot it—that beautiful, simple command you needed. The rush of dopamine when you find it is better than any compiler successfully running on the first try.