Be Rich By Sabotaging Your Own Code

Content I'll add a TODO: here So that you can fix it later, right? So that you can fix it later, right?

Content How Programmers are portrayed in movies: white male conspicuously nerdy everything he codes works on the first try fast typist, types extra fast in programming emergencies never Googles error messages, in fact there are no error messages

Content NAS (OLD) Translation Guide What Progammers Sav What Progammers Mean Horrible hack Horrible hack that I didn't write Horrible hack that I wrote workaraound There are buas in vour code There are bugs in my code it has a few issues ODScure Someone else's code doesn't have comments call ocumen and My code doesn't have comments That's why it's an awesome It's my favorite language and it's really easy to lanquage do something in it You're thinking in the It's my favourite language and it's really hard wrong mindset to do something in it I can read this Perl script I wrote this Perl script I can't read this Perl script I didn't write this Perl script Bad structure Someone else's code is badly organised Complex structure Bug My code is badly organised The absence of a feature I like The absence of a feature I don't like Out of scope Clean solution It works and I understand it We need to rewrite it It works but I don't understand it emacs is better than vi vi is better than emacs It's too peaceful here, let's start a flame war It's too peaceful here, let's start a flame war IMHO You are wrong Legacy code It works, but no one knows how XCquitESCESCC I don't know how to quit vi Suboptimal implementation The worst errors ever inflicted on humankind That can't be done It can be done, but it's boring and I don't want to do it No problem, people do this You might be the most idiotic person I've ever all the time. It's an easy fix. encountered Put that bug in the backlog with low priority Let's agree nobody ever mentions it again and ppl who do, will be shot These test environments are too brittle Works on my machine. Have you tried restarting it? Proof-of-Concept What I wrote Perfect solution How Sales Marketing are promoting it DEI

Ah, the eternal Stack Overflow waiting game! You pour your heart and soul into crafting the perfect question, triple-check your code snippets, hit submit, and then... crickets. Just you, refreshing the page every 30 seconds like a monkey waiting for a banana. Meanwhile, your deadline creeps closer, your coffee gets colder, and your will to live diminishes with each passing minute. The only response? Some guy marking it as duplicate of a 2011 thread that has absolutely nothing to do with your problem. Sweet validation that you're not just talking to the void would be nice!

Content CATALIN PIT 9 catalinmpit V Divide 2020 by 5 and you get 404. Essentially this year is an error message. Maybe that explains why the world stopped functioning properly this year. Someone pick this Jira ticket and fix the bugs, please?

Content Time spent "Programming" Time spent "Programming" fixed Browsing reddit Singing along to my "Focusing Music" Testing Blankly staring at the screen because I don't want to debug Re-testing even though I already know it works. just because it's satisfying Actually Coding The circle on the left meetings ProgrammerHumor