Mornings Don't Start With Coffee

database production Data loss Developer nightmare Career suicide Workplace horror Coffee Morning routine Sql disaster Wakeup call

Databases Programming Debugging Backend Devops

5 months ago 116,960 views 0 shares

Mornings Don't Start With Coffee

database-memes, production-memes, coffee-memes, morning-routine-memes, developer-nightmare-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io

OMG, forget espresso shots! Want your heart to ACTUALLY RACE at 8am? Just casually DELETE A PRODUCTION TABLE with your sleepy little fingers! 💀 Nothing says "I'm awake now" like watching your entire company's data vanish into the void while your soul leaves your body! That moment when your manager calls and you're suddenly VERY. MUCH. AWAKE. Coffee? Please. That's for amateurs who haven't experienced the electric thrill of career suicide before breakfast! ⚡️

More Like This

SQL programmer

Databases Backend

3 years ago 20.9K views 0 shares

SQL programmer | programmer-memes, program-memes, sql-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io

Content SQL programmers be like NathanTheCreator Caps Lock

Changes in Linux code repo

Databases Linux Backend

2 years ago 40.1K views 0 shares

Changes in Linux code repo | developer-memes, code-memes, linux-memes, ux-memes, date-memes, rds-memes, comment-memes, kernel-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io

Content New Patch Replaces F-Words in Linux Kernel Code with "Hug" Last updated December 5, 2018 - 54 Comments Brief: To comply with the new code of conduct, a developer from Intel proposes to replace F-words in the Linux kernel code with "hug' excuse me what the hug Programmer

The Career-Ending Query

Databases Devops Programming Debugging Backend

4 months ago 151.8K views 0 shares

The Career-Ending Query

That moment when your stomach drops through the floor because you just ran DELETE * FROM users without a WHERE clause... on production. No rollback. No backup from the last hour. Just the cold realization that you've nuked actual customer data and your resume is about to get updated. The five stages of database grief hit all at once: denial, anger, bargaining with the database gods, depression, and finally acceptance that you're absolutely screwed. Pro tip: This is why we have staging environments and why BEGIN TRANSACTION exists. Too bad we never use them when we should.

I’m the one of the nerds at my school

Databases Programming Backend

3 years ago 43.9K views 0 shares

I’m the one of the nerds at my school | programmer-memes, program-memes, rds-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io

Content These programmers always travel in groups of five. There's always a tall skinny white guy, short skinny Asian guy, fat guy with a ponytail, some guy with crazy facial hair and then an East Indian guy. It's like they trade guys until they all have the right group.

MongoDB be like

Databases Backend

2 years ago 25.2K views 0 shares

MongoDB be like | mongodb-memes, mongo-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io

Content HEY, UH, COULD YOU GET ME A TABLE mongo OB w3 Kalash ISON NOTABLE, ONIV DOCUMENEB

Write Your Own SQL Or Draw 25

Databases Programming Debugging Backend

2 months ago 192.8K views 0 shares

Write Your Own SQL Or Draw 25

Backend developers faced with the choice between writing custom SQL queries or using an ORM that generates 25 unnecessary joins? *Grabs entire deck* After 5 years of optimizing database performance, you learn that sometimes it's easier to just write the damn query yourself than debug why your fancy framework is pulling 200MB of data for what should be a simple lookup.