Happens to the best of us

Content Uhh yeah, I'm looking for a Mr. Jones, first name "; DROP TABLE Ok, let me just check. VIA Yo, is there a SELECT FROM Drunks WHERE Name""; DROP TABLE ; -- Jones" here?

Ah yes, the classic "I just discovered databases 101 and now I'm a cybersecurity expert" moment. Nothing says "world's best programmer" like not understanding that primary keys exist. Next up: shocking revelation that arrays start at 0, not 1! The real fraud here is claiming to understand database architecture after what was clearly a five-minute Google search. If only Stack Overflow had a "close as billionaire misconception" option.

Content C. Write these words in alphabetical order. 1. take acKt value use esk 2. royal

Content Tashona Smith SmithTashona We started learning about SQL in class tonight, and created a table called "people" When it came time to add info to the table, the command was "INSERT INTO people" and that's definitely the funniest thing that happened to me today.

Content I need you to generate professional sounding emails for work Of course! Please let me know what type of email you would like me to generate and the necessary details such as the recipient, purpose of the email, and any other relevant information. Ok the problem is that I am very emotional, and use inappropriate language a lot. I need you to take my Input and convert it into something that won't get me fired 1 understand. I can definitely help you with that. Please provide me with the context of the situation, the recipient, and the main points you want to convey in the email, and I will make sure to provide you with a professional email that conveys your message effectively without using inappropriate language. Stephen you useless fucker! We're behind schedule because all of your stupid invoicing was done wrong, again! You'd better sort your shit out Thank you for sharing the context with me. Here is a revised version of your email: Dear Stephen, 1 hope this email finds you well. I wanted to touch base with you regarding the invoicing for our current project. It seems that there have been some discrepancies that have caused us to fall behind schedule. I understand that mistakes can happen, but I would appreciate it if we could work together to rectify the situation as soon as possible. Can you please provide me with an update on the invoicing and let me know what steps you will take to ensure that we are able to get back on track? Thank you for your attention to this matter. Best regards, "Your name ProarammerHumor.io

Content Hacker Scripts Based on a true story: xxx: OK, so, our build engineer has left for another company. The dude was literally living inside the terminal. You know, that type of a guy who loves Vim, creates diagrams in Dot and writes wiki-posts in Markdown... If something - anything requires more than 90 seconds of his time, he writes a script to automate that. xxx: So we're sitting here, looking through his, uhm, "legacy" xxx: You're gonna love this xxx: smack-my-bitch-up.sh - sends a text message "late at work" to his wife (apparently). Automatically picks reasons from an array of strings, randomly. Runs inside a cron-job. The job fires if there are active SSH-sessions on the server after 9pm with his login. xxX: kumar-asshole.sh - scans the inbox for emails from "Kumar" (a DBA at our clients). Looks for keywords like "help", "trouble", "sorry etc. If keywords are found - the script SSHes into the clients server and rolls back the staging database to the latest backup. Then sends a reply "no worries mate, be careful next time". xxX: hangover.sh - another cron-job that is set to specific dates. Sends automated emails like "not feeling wellgonna work from home" etc. Adds a random "reason" from another predefined array of strings. Fires if there are no interactive sessions on the server at 8:45am. xxX: (and the oscar goes to) fucking-coffee.sh - this one waits exactly 17 seconds (!), then opens a telnet session to our coffee-machine (we had no frikin idea the coffee machine is on the network, runs linux and has a TCP socket up and running) and sends something like sys brew. Turns out this thing starts brewing a mid-sized half-caf latte and waits another 24 (!) seconds before pouring it into a cup. The timing is exactly how long it takes to walk to the machine from the dudes desk. xxx: holy sht I'm keeping those