Spite-Driven Development At Its Finest

The classic "things are easy when you've mastered them" pattern. Experienced C++ devs saying pointers aren't hard is like billionaires claiming money doesn't matter or supermodels saying looks are irrelevant. Meanwhile, the rest of us are still trying to figure out why our program just segfaulted because we dereferenced a null pointer for the 17th time today. Sure, pointers are "easy" after you've spent 5 years debugging memory leaks and dangling references.

When you realize that both JavaScript and C++ can be represented as either a massive rhinoceros or a delicate butterfly depending on which parts you actually use. The "Good Parts" books are basically saying "Here's how to avoid getting impaled by the language you're forced to use at work." Honestly, the fact that both languages need books specifically to identify their non-terrible features is the most savage burn in computer science history.

Ah, the classic programmer's solution to avoiding C and Rust—just go for pizza instead! After 15 years in the industry, I've learned that sometimes the best programming language is whatever's on the menu. Memory management giving you nightmares? Pointer errors making you question your career choices? Just order a Margherita and pretend those problems don't exist. The pizza-driven development methodology: where the only garbage collection you need to worry about is clearing your plate.

The true horror of an infinite loop with multiple print statements. First panel shows our protagonist running for(; cout<<"Hey!";) - a C++ loop with no exit condition that just keeps printing "Hey!" forever. In the second panel, they get creative by adding another print statement: cout<<"Ho! " . Now they've created a holiday-themed infinite nightmare. By the fourth panel, our poor developer is just trying to read the newspaper in peace while being bombarded with an endless stream of "HEY! HO! HEY! HO!" - the digital equivalent of being stalked by an overenthusiastic Christmas caroler who refuses to leave your porch. Seven years of computer science education for this. Worth every student loan penny.

Ah yes, the classic "$800,000 bootcamp" that promises to transform you into a software engineer in just 3 months by teaching you *checks notes* approximately 87 programming languages, including some that barely exist anymore. Nothing says "legitimate education" like cramming Fortran, COBOL, and Assembly alongside React and TypeScript into 90 days. The "if you can't find a job you can spit on our faces" guarantee is the cherry on top of this scam sundae. Spoiler alert: The only thing you'll master in 3 months is how to lose $800K faster than a startup with free snacks and ping pong tables.

The cosmic joke of software development revealed! Astronauts floating in space discover that beneath all those fancy programming languages (JavaScript, Python, PHP, Java, C++, Ruby, Swift) lies the humble C language powering everything. It's like finding out your sophisticated smartphone runs on hamster wheels. No matter how high-level and abstracted your code gets, you're still standing on the shoulders of that 50-year-old C giant, frantically manipulating memory addresses and forgetting to free your pointers. The "Always has been" punchline is perfect - seasoned developers nodding knowingly while junior devs have their existential crisis in real-time. Your React app? C underneath. Your ML model? C underneath. Your entire career? Just elaborately disguised C code.