AI Cannot Replace Him

Kid: "Can we stop and get some C++?" Mom: "We have C++ at home." The C++ at home? Rust with its infamous borrow checker slapping you with unsafe fn main() warnings every time you try to do literally anything fun with memory. It's like asking for a sports car and getting a tank with 47 seatbelts and a breathalyzer. Sure, it'll get you there... after you fill out the proper paperwork in triplicate and promise not to touch anything shiny.

Ah, the magical transformation that happens when someone glances at your monitor! One second you're crafting cryptic pointer arithmetic that would make Linus Torvalds weep with joy, and the next you're writing the programming equivalent of "See Spot Run." The code suddenly becomes so simple it's practically insulting - a glorified boolean return that a toddler could debug. It's like your brain enters panic mode: "ABORT COMPLEX ALGORITHMS! HUMAN DETECTED! QUICK, LOOK COMPETENT BUT NOT TOO COMPETENT!" And suddenly you're writing code that screams "I definitely know what I'm doing" while simultaneously hiding the digital chaos you were just reveling in. The irony? That simple if-else statement probably took more mental energy than the pointer voodoo you were happily writing before someone invaded your sacred coding bubble.

Ah, the classic programmer double entendre. What we're looking at is [2b | !2b] followed by "That is the expression." It's Shakespeare's famous "to be or not to be" dilemma rewritten as a bitwise OR operation. The "2b" is hexadecimal (base 16) for 43 in decimal, and the exclamation mark represents logical NOT. So you're literally performing a bitwise OR between "to be" and "not to be" in code. The punchline is the perfect deadpan delivery: "That is the expression." Because, well, it literally is an expression in programming terms. Whoever came up with this probably felt extremely clever while their coworkers groaned audibly.

When your coffee machine starts speaking C++, you know it's going to be that kind of Monday. This fancy Siemens machine is having a vector::M_range_check exception while still managing to pour a perfect latte. The irony isn't lost on me—the one machine that's supposed to prevent debugging sessions is now requiring one. Somewhere, a software engineer is getting paged because they didn't validate array bounds in the milk frother algorithm. And yet, here we are, still desperately drinking the exception-brewed coffee because let's face it, fixing bugs without caffeine is like trying to compile with syntax errors.

OH. MY. GOD. The AUDACITY of this C programmer flexing their ability to write "Hello World" without including the standard I/O library! 😱 For the uninitiated peasants: in C programming, #include <stdio.h> is basically THE library you need to do basic input/output operations like printing text. Writing code without it is like showing up to a gunfight with a homemade slingshot that YOU BUILT FROM SCRATCH. The other fish is just DESTROYED by this flex. Absolutely annihilated. This is the programming equivalent of someone casually mentioning they climbed Everest "on their lunch break." Pure savagery in the C programming world!

Questioning why programmers use i and j as loop variables is like asking why water is wet. It's not just tradition—it's practically encoded in our DNA at this point. Try using x or counter in your next code review and watch your colleagues react with the same shocked expression as this meme. They'll look at you like you've suggested tabs instead of spaces or declared that semicolons are optional. The unwritten rule dates back to FORTRAN days when variables starting with I-N were integers by default. Now we're just stuck in an infinite loop of convention that nobody dares to break.