The $500 Dream Tax: Forgotten VM Edition

Oh. My. GOD. It's the PERFECT representation of every developer's midnight cloud crisis! There you are, fist raised in unholy rage at 3 AM because your AWS instance just SPONTANEOUSLY COMBUSTED for the fifth time this week! The bill is skyrocketing, your application is down, and you're channeling your inner Grandpa Simpson, screaming into the digital void while Amazon's smug little smile logo just SITS THERE, mocking your pain! The cloud promised us heaven but delivered CHAOS with a side of unexpected charges! 💸

Content Kelsey Hightower kelseyhightowermastodon.social Back in my day, we didn't need CICD, we had FTP. Real developers made changes in production. Kacrosoft Web Publishing Wizard Please provide your FTP server name and the path to the directory on that server where your files should be published If you do not know the FTP server name or the directory path, contact your system administrator or Internet Service Provider. FTP Server Name: X Directory Path: root Back Next Cancel Dec 19, 2022, 22:40 Web 7 86 290

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BREAKING NEWS: Man dresses as dumpster fire that is AWS US-EAST-1! The AUDACITY! The DRAMA! 🔥 Listen, if you've ever had your entire production environment COMPLETELY IMPLODE because US-EAST-1 decided to have one of its famous temper tantrums, this costume hits way too close to home. It's like dressing as the monster from your recurring nightmares! That service health dashboard with its deceptively calm "orange" status is the cherry on top of this trauma sundae. Meanwhile, DevOps teams worldwide are frantically updating their resumes while explaining to executives why "the cloud" is currently a blazing inferno!

Ah, the classic "No major incidents" status page showing complete service outages across the board. That special moment when your cloud provider's dashboard says everything is fine while your production environment is literally on fire. The date is from the future (2025) which means we have exciting new catastrophic failures to look forward to! Nothing builds character like explaining to your CEO why the app is down while the status page cheerfully reports all systems normal. It's just a little apocalypse, nothing to worry about!

Content Apple: we're the most secure OS! No bugs, don't look. Corellium: provides researches with a proper research environment to find bugs and test their apps Researchers: find and report bugs using Corellium Apple: no no no no nooo NO sues Corellium