The $500 Dream Tax: Forgotten VM Edition

Content here is the "bad" here is the "good" here is the "bad" that is in the "good" here is the "good" that is in the "bad" here is life here is the person who posted a question, and then saying "nvm, figured it out" without giving the solution to the problem

Content see your name a better duo stack overflow 2nd monitor And raise you 90 chrome tabs mocking you with 6 year old forum threads describing your exact problem with either no solution, someone linking to another completely unrelated thread asking "did you try this?", or ending in "nvm, I fixed it" 3rd monitor

Content ?php header ("Content-type: texthtml; charsetutf-8"); This is a warning to any poor soul who may have to deal with this code. I took over this criminal piece of chaos from a monkey named Joel who I assume had been given a typewriter by Mephistopheles himself. For reasons I have yet been unable to fathom, he decided to patch together this thing using a BaseX setup hardwired into an unfixably broken Manjaro VM, queried by a handwritten plate of uncommented PHP spaghetti fit to feed an army of people with a serious death wish, without any framework or CMS. The very long BaseX script, very long PH presenter and very long XSLT stylesheet mostly perform the same heuristic document structuring for different components and are supposed to produce compatible results, but I bet they have mismatches somewhere. Since Prof. T just wanted a few small functional enhancements, I decided to just patch it and keep the general setup. Unless you were hired to correct some spelling mistakes, DO NOT FOLLOW IN MY STEPS. Putting up with this simulation of how a goldfish would design a system has literally given me CLINICAL DEPRESSION. This is not an exaggeration, I am writing this after a prolonged medical therapy - mostly successful, thanks for asking, but not fun. I wouldn't wish this code on anybody who isn't a manager at Oracle or Facebook, and therefore give you this sincere advice: Nuke this. Take the XSLT if you must, and then nuke the app and recreate it in Django or whatever works for you. I would do it myself, but I risked a relapse simply by opening this file again to write this comment. Dear brother or sister, I wish you all the luck and strength in the world and hope it will be enough. Farewell. error reporting(E ALL); ini set ("displayerrors", true); printi'7xml version"1.0" encoding "UTF-8" 7'. "In"):?

Content Generic Name EDUCATION Blue Mountain State, Undergrad September 2018 - May 2022 Graduated with a GPA of 2.33 Minored in Artificial Intelligence with C- grade President of Anime Club PROJECTS Calculator App Supports addition and subtraction and multiplication sometimes. 8000 lines of Java code Built a user friendly interface with command prompt Deployed on AWS 70 code coverage Snoop Dapp Cross platform mobile application built with Ionic Sends a notification at 4:20 am to all users Notifications managed with AWS SQS service Extracts users personal info if notification not acknowledged Stores user information in AWS S3 storage TodoBlock Todo list app constructed on the AWS managed blockchain The decentralized architecture publicly shames the user into finishing their tasks Increased productivity of users by 67 1 111111111 genericnamegmail.com https:github.comGeneric SKILLS Mastered version control with file names Worked extensively with Turing machines ACHIEVEMENTS 13 tshirts from various Hackathons and boot camps

Content Close-cropped hair, just like Dad's when he worked at Big Blue. Power tie: all the color he requires. Computing is serious business. Keep a straight face. BACKPACK: PowerBook Duo 230; accessories Metricom Ricochet wireless modem - lomega Zip drive; five full cartridges Extended key. board and mouse - Nokia 100 cell phone Newton MessagePad A few scratched up floppy disks MacAddict - One 8-pin serial cable Piles of notes, papers and transit schedules. The casual "Seinfeld-cut' is in. Of course, Jerry would never use a PC. The earring isn't mak- ing the statement it once was, but it still helps to draw the line. BRIEF CASE: Portg Toshiba laptop - Microsoft Office installation disk- PC Magazine - Byte One Xircom Credit Card Ethernet modem - One 10-base T-cable An HF 32S calculator A Lotus penknife Needlenose pliers A multi-tip screwdrivei IBM Networking Center pen kept in custom-crafted pocket protector. You never know when you're going to need a PhoneNet connector. Mandatory wacky watch just looks cool. Imitation Rolex. The denim shirt is standard issue. Get Brooks Brothers. What else? FootLocker. What else? THE WINDOWS USER HOBBIES: No time for hobbies, still trying to install system. SECRET SHAME: Has a Mac at home for "the kids". Really, really liked Microsoft Bob. BELIEF: Thinks Bill Gates is God. THE MAC ADDICT HOBBIES: No time for hobbies, too busy spam- ming Windows-only developers. SECRET SHAME: Still uses WriteNow for word processing. BELIEF: Thinks Bill Gates thinks he's God. ProdrammerHumor.io

Content DevOps Dan scripticles one of our developers left this some time before he took a job elsewhere programming I Happy debugging, suckers define true (rand() 10)