Buzzwords Won't Fix Your Architecture

Content Tomasz Lakomy push -force tlakomy Is this Docker? 11:40 PM 18 Oct 19 Twitter for iPhone 1,176 Retweets 5,286 Likes ProdrammerHumor.io

Content Donald J. Trump O Follow GrealDonaldTrome AWSS3KEY"fle8d133-2883-4ef1-ab93- ae308ad03241" :Wq 5.11 AM - 18 Fet 2018 DAK 17 29K ponald 3. Trump o guessurislatrump - 19h Reming ia prealDonidatiump watthis isn't vim D 2494 17 103k 3zak Programm

So we've gone from "cloud computing" to literally renting brain cells. Someone pitched "24/7 remote access to brain organoid" with a straight face and got funding. The best part? These lab-grown brains are marketed like a SaaS product—complete with technical support and data backup. Because nothing says "cutting-edge technology" like having to call customer service when your biological neural network crashes. The tweet's right though—wetware really is about to surpass hardware. We're literally one API call away from import brain becoming a legitimate Python library. Can't wait for the Stack Overflow questions: "Why is my brain organoid throwing a NullPointerException?" And yes, these things are a million times less powerful than a digital chip but last only 100 days. So basically, it's like renting a potato-powered server that expires faster than your GitHub Copilot trial. The future is weird, folks.

Content ONEED LINUX FOR PROGRAMMING 34 34 ONEED LINUK FOR PROGRAMMING NEED TINIT FOR PROGRI 14 14 0.1 2 10 score 55 70 85 100 115 130 2 0.1 145

Content STOP USING DOCKER APPLICATIONS WERE NOT MEANT TO BE TRAPPED IN VIRTUAL JARS LIKE DIGITAL FIREFLIES YEARS OF SOFTWARE DEVELOPMENT yet NO ONE QUESTIONED WHY WE'RE PUTTING PROGRAMS IN IMAGINARY BOATS "Let's containerize our monolith", "I'll just quickly spin up 17 microservices" -- Statements dreamt up by the utterly deranged OBSERVE the WHALE-SIZED DECEPTION they've FOOLED us with all this time (These are REAL IMAGES used to EXPLAIN DOCKER) ??????? ????????????????? Ahoy matey, I'd like to run my website in a virtual sea shanty They have plaved us for absolute fools

BEHOLD! The terrifying tower of tech that keeps our digital world from imploding! 💀 Our entire civilization balances on this RIDICULOUS Jenga tower of services - Cloudflare, some random AWS region you picked because it was 0.001% cheaper, that Azure zone nobody remembers configuring, and THE THINNEST POSSIBLE STICK of an open-source project maintained by ONE SLEEP-DEPRIVED DEVELOPER who hasn't seen sunlight since 2014! We're literally one npm update away from digital apocalypse! Just WAITING for that one critical piece to get pulled and watch the ENTIRE STACK come crashing down while we frantically Google "how to rollback production" between sobs! 🙃