We Need AI (Like We Need More Meetings)

Remember when we actually had to memorize algorithms and syntax? Now my brain's shrinking faster than my will to whiteboard during interviews. The top image shows Homer Simpson's brain scan before ChatGPT, all plump and functional. The bottom shows what's left after outsourcing our thinking to AI - just enough neurons to type "write me a function that..." and hit enter. Evolution in reverse, folks - soon we'll just be fingers attached to a coffee mug.

The only thing scarier than AI taking over the world? Finding out Python isn't just C in a trench coat. C purists have spent years comforting themselves with the myth that Python is just a wrapper around C functions, like a child riding on their parent's shoulders wearing a long coat. "See, it's just C underneath!" they whisper to themselves while clutching their pointers. But the truth that Python has evolved into its own full-fledged language is apparently more terrifying than any artificial intelligence apocalypse. Nothing strikes fear into the heart of a memory-management enthusiast quite like a language where indentation matters and garbage collection just... happens.

Ah yes, the classic "become a data scientist in 50 days" roadmap. Master Python in 5 days, R in another 5, and calculus in a weekend. By day 41, you're predicting which passengers survive the Titanic—a task that's apparently more complex than learning an entire programming language. The most realistic part? The Titanic project sinking just like your expectations when you realize actual data science requires years of study, not a 7-week crash course.

The perfect litmus test for human-written code comments has arrived! While AI generates those perfectly formatted, polite explanations about what each function does, real developers leave behind digital trauma warnings like "DON'T TOUCH THIS I SPENT 5 FUCKING HOURS ON IT AND IF YOU REMOVE IT THE WHOLE APP BREAKS." Nothing says "written by an actual sleep-deprived human" quite like a comment that's equal parts technical documentation and existential cry for help. In the dystopian future where AI writes all our code, we'll identify the last human programmers by their caps-lock rage and thinly-veiled threats to future maintainers.

Ah, the classic programmer identity crisis. Someone asked for the most useful programming languages for 2025 and got Swift, C++, Go, and JavaScript mixed in with French, Japanese, Arabic, and German. Guess the algorithm can't tell the difference between talking to computers and talking to humans. Probably trained on Stack Overflow comments where both are equally incomprehensible. At least they didn't recommend COBOL - that would've been a real sign of AI hallucination.

Ah yes, another AI researcher predicting our imminent extinction. Because that's exactly what happened when calculators replaced mathematicians and spell-check eliminated writers. The best part is the comparison to compiler output. Sure, because blindly trusting AI-generated code without review is exactly like trusting battle-tested compilers with decades of development behind them. Completely equivalent! Don't worry though - by 2026 we'll all be unemployed, but at least we'll have plenty of time to fix the bugs in the AI-generated systems that control our power grids and banking systems. Progress!