The 15,000 Traitors

The Reddit algorithm has commitment issues worse than those wedding day deserters. You're scrolling through a thread about people abandoning their partners at the altar, and BAM—suddenly you're being pitched a GitHub issue processor for AI coding that costs less than a gumball. It's like the algorithm saw a thread about relationship abandonment and thought, "You know what this person needs? Some cheap API calls!" The digital equivalent of responding to someone's breakup story with "That's rough buddy, wanna see my new keyboard shortcuts?"

Oh how the mighty have fallen! 💀 Remember when companies expected you to master 17 different technologies, frameworks, and certifications in the time it takes to microwave a burrito? Now they're just like "Here's a course on how to ask an AI to do your job for you." The absolute AUDACITY of these companies thinking they can replace our blood, sweat, and Stack Overflow tears with "Hey Copilot, make me look competent." Next they'll be offering courses on "How to look busy while an LLM writes your entire codebase" and "Advanced techniques in taking credit for AI-generated solutions." The tech industry's evolution from "prove your worth through impossible certifications" to "just learn to type good prompts" is the greatest betrayal since they removed the headphone jack!

The five stages of beginner developer delusion, perfectly captured in skeletal form. It starts with innocent enthusiasm, quickly escalates to "I'm learning React to learn JavaScript" (which is like saying "I'm learning to fly a Boeing 747 to understand gravity"), then rapidly descends into the fever dream of building Netflix clones with ChatGPT after 72 hours of coding. By stage four, our protagonist is planning an AI SaaS empire after a week of copy-pasting Stack Overflow answers. The final transformation into a complete skeleton represents the ultimate delusion: dropping engineering college for a bootcamp that "guarantees" job offers. Senior developers watching this evolution: *sips coffee in traumatized silence*

The fearless warrior of code until Git throws that dreaded merge conflict error. Suddenly the bravest developer becomes a helpless child begging an AI to fix their mess. We've all been there—confidently pushing changes at 4:59 PM on Friday, only to have Git remind us we're not as clever as we thought. Nothing humbles you faster than seeing those <<<<<<< HEAD markers turn your beautiful code into abstract art.

Ever opened a PR from an AI and seen comments like // This is a for loop that iterates through the array ? Welcome to the world of AI-generated documentation—where stating the painfully obvious is considered helpful. It's like having that one intern who explains what a keyboard is every time you sit down to code. Next up: ChatGPT will helpfully inform you that your function returns a value and that variables store data. Revolutionary stuff.

Remember the ancient times of 2022 when developers wrote their own code? Now we're all just whispering sweet nothings to ChatGPT and hoping it understands our vague requirements. Coding without AI assistance has become the programming equivalent of churning your own butter or writing with a quill pen. "Did you hear? Sarah actually remembers how to reverse a binary tree WITHOUT asking Claude!" *gasps dramatically* The real flex in 2024 isn't having a Lamborghini—it's being able to debug your own code without an AI sidekick.