The 15,000 Traitors

THE SWEET, SWEET LIBERATION! 😭 Developers everywhere are WEEPING TEARS OF JOY now that AI has swooped in like some coding superhero to murder our toxic relationship with StackOverflow! No more getting absolutely DESTROYED for asking why your code isn't working! No more comments like "This question was asked in 1874, do your research!" No more downvotes because you forgot a semicolon! It's like being released from programming prison where the guards were all people with 500k reputation points who judged your will to live based on your question formatting. FREEDOM AT LAST!

Microsoft's product strategy in a nutshell. They're like that friend who "fixes" your perfectly working setup by removing the stuff you actually use and adding bloat nobody asked for. Windows users watching in horror as another update replaces functional tools with AI assistants that can't assist with anything except sending your data to the mothership. The crowd's expression says it all: "Here we go again with this nonsense." At this point, we're all just hostages to whatever brilliant idea Redmond cooks up next.

When every single AI tool bombards you with the same "What do you want to build today?" prompt for the 47th time. Sure, I'll build a blockchain-based social network for cats with AR integration in 0.2 seconds! The rage is real when these no-code platforms promise to turn your napkin sketch into a production-ready app while actual developers are busy fighting dependency hell and merge conflicts. That "build your app in seconds" promise hits different after spending 3 hours configuring webpack.

Samsung really looked at the AI hype train and said "hold my semiconductors." While everyone's busy building massive data centers that consume enough power to light up a small country, Samsung's just casually standing there with Micron like "yeah, we make the memory chips that make all this possible." The real winners of the AI gold rush? Not the prospectors—it's the people selling the shovels. Or in this case, the people selling the RAM and storage that keeps those GPU clusters from turning into expensive paperweights. Classic tech ecosystem moment: the infrastructure providers quietly printing money while everyone else fights over who has the best LLM.

When your resume is just a list of tech companies that imploded right after you left. Nothing suspicious here, folks. Just a trail of digital catastrophes following this person like a shadow. Netflix sports streaming that doesn't exist yet, CrowdStrike's Windows update disaster, Google's Gemini historical figure fiasco, Silicon Valley Bank collapse, and FTX's crypto meltdown. Hiring managers will definitely not notice this pattern of working at companies right before they face existential crises. Solid career strategy - join, collect paycheck, abandon ship, repeat.

ChatGPT spent 69 minutes and 42 seconds "thinking" just to tell you "You can't." That's like watching your senior architect stare at the whiteboard for over an hour during a planning meeting, only for them to turn around and say "nope, not possible" without any further explanation. The irony here is beautiful. Someone's trying to install CUDA 12.1 on Ubuntu 24.04, and the AI that supposedly saves you weeks of work just burned over an hour to deliver the most unhelpful two-word response possible. No workarounds, no alternatives, no "but here's what you CAN do" — just pure, unfiltered rejection. You could've googled this, read three Stack Overflow threads, tried two wrong solutions, and still had time left over to make coffee. But sure, let's call it "incredible" and a "solid product." The future of development is waiting 69 minutes for a chatbot to say no.