Software Engineer 🤡

Content Good code is not GOLD Good code should:be RIGID RAGID INCOMPREHENSibLe GAr IRRESPONSIBLE DuMB

OH. MY. GOD. Intel just casually suggested that 5-10 year olds only need basic web browsing while teenagers deserve i9 processors for their "AI & Machine Learning" needs! 🙄 Because OBVIOUSLY every 16-year-old is training neural networks between TikTok sessions! Meanwhile, the finance department is having an absolute coronary looking at the procurement requests for i9 chips because "little Timmy needs it for his science fair project." The audacity of this marketing slide is simply *chef's kiss* - selling $500+ processors to parents who just want their kid to stop asking why the Roblox is laggy. Someone in marketing deserves either a raise or a stern talking-to from accounting!

When management thought they were hiring cutting-edge machine learning engineers to build sophisticated neural networks, but instead got developers who think "AI implementation" means wrapping OpenAI's API in a for-loop and calling it innovation. The real tragedy here is that half the "AI startups" out there are literally just doing this. They're not training models, they're not fine-tuning anything—they're just prompt engineers with a Stripe account. But hey, at least they remembered to add error handling... right? Right? Plot twist: This approach actually works 90% of the time, which is why VCs keep throwing money at it.

The ancient developer ritual: boss announces a new app, teammates immediately suggest AI tools, and the one guy who remembers what programming is gets defenestrated for his troubles. Apparently suggesting actual coding is now a capital offense in tech meetings. What's next, suggesting we read documentation?

The AUDACITY of this person saving code in Google Drive! The horror! The SCANDAL! 😱 Meanwhile, the rest of us sophisticated developers are just casually letting our precious code snippets evaporate into the digital void when our ChatGPT conversations expire. Who needs version control when you can frantically scroll through chat history trying to find that one perfect function you wrote three weeks ago? It's like playing archaeological roulette with your career! But hey, at least we're not using—*gasp*—GOOGLE DRIVE like some kind of ORGANIZED PERSON!

The chart hilariously reveals that GPT-5 scores a whopping 74.9% accuracy on software engineering benchmarks, but the pink bars tell the real story – 52.8% of that is achieved "without thinking" while only a tiny sliver comes from actual "thinking." Meanwhile, OpenAI's o3 and GPT-4o trail behind with 69.1% and 30.8% respectively, with apparently zero thinking involved. It's basically saying these AI models are just regurgitating patterns rather than performing actual reasoning. The perfect metaphor for when your code works but you have absolutely no idea why.