AI: The Flex Tape Of Modern Programming

Nvidia stock plummeting 17.44% after someone supposedly declared "GPUs are for gaming, not for speculation" is the financial equivalent of yanking the power cord during a CUDA training session. Crypto miners and AI researchers frantically watching their RTX investments nosedive faster than a poorly optimized neural network. Meanwhile, gamers who just wanted reasonable prices are sitting in the corner with popcorn watching the chaos unfold. The irony of hardware designed for parallel processing causing such sequential market destruction is *chef's kiss*.

THE AUDACITY! A product manager who can't even write requirements without a 50-question interrogation suddenly becomes an AI prophet?! Honey, if you can't tell me what button color you want without changing your mind 17 times, I'm supposed to believe you understand the future of artificial intelligence?! The green monster hand of skepticism is PRESSING X TO DOUBT so hard right now. Sweetie, AI might replace a lot of things, but it'll need actual requirements to do so - something you're physically incapable of providing! Come back when your "visionary roadmap" isn't written in crayon and wishful thinking!

Oh. My. GOD. The absolute AUDACITY of these ChatGPT-wielding imposters! 💅 They waltz into interviews like "I'm a programmer" with their chest puffed out, but when asked about actual languages they know? *dramatic gasp* They whisper "ChatGPT" and suddenly everyone loses their minds! It's like showing up to a knife fight with a spork and expecting to be taken seriously! The coding community is LITERALLY having a collective aneurysm watching people who couldn't write a for-loop to save their lives claiming developer status because they can prompt an AI. Honey, asking ChatGPT to code for you doesn't make you a programmer any more than asking Siri for directions makes you a cartographer!

The evolution of software engineering in its natural habitat! First, we have the innocent "Software Engineer" - just a regular Pooh bear doing honest work. Then there's the slightly pretentious "Sr Software Engineer" - same bear, just wearing a tux and acting fancy because they learned what a design pattern is. But the final form? The "pRoMpt eNgiNeEr" with that cursed ransom-note typography - it's just a deranged panda typing "make me a website that looks like Amazon but better" into ChatGPT and calling it coding. The tech industry's equivalent of ordering a pizza and claiming you made dinner.

The eternal academic turf war continues! Physicists spend decades unraveling the mysteries of the universe, publishing papers nobody reads, and surviving on ramen... only to watch some CS grad who taught a computer to play tic-tac-toe walk away with the Nobel. That sideways glance of existential despair is every physicist who just realized they picked the wrong major. Meanwhile, CS folks are too busy counting their tech stock options to even notice they won.

The ancient developer ritual: boss announces a new app, teammates immediately suggest AI tools, and the one guy who remembers what programming is gets defenestrated for his troubles. Apparently suggesting actual coding is now a capital offense in tech meetings. What's next, suggesting we read documentation?