I Use To Do This Back In The Days

THE ABSOLUTE STATE OF MODERN PROGRAMMING! 😭 Look at us, the so-called "tech geniuses" of our generation, reduced to begging AI overlords to fix our punctuation! I'm literally sitting here at 2AM, staring into the void, wondering if my entire career has come down to asking ChatGPT "pretty please add the semicolon I was too lazy to type." The semicolon - that tiny punctuation mark standing between me and functional code - and I've outsourced even THAT responsibility! Next thing you know, I'll be asking it to breathe for me because manual respiration seems like such a chore! The future is here, and it's pathetically hilarious!

Ah yes, the classic tech industry pipeline: 2+ years of actual experience → underpaid → desperate → "become an expert in 3 hours" workshop. Nothing says legitimate career advancement like a LinkedIn post promising to transform you from an experienced but underpaid SQL developer into an "AI in SQL" expert faster than it takes to restore a corrupted database. For reference, 8 LPA (Lakhs Per Annum) is roughly $10K USD, so this guru is essentially targeting professionals who know they're worth more but haven't figured out how to escape the salary trap. The irony is that anyone with actual SQL experience would immediately recognize this query returns nothing but empty promises.

The year is 2035. Your GitHub page now takes 15 minutes to load because it's scanning your code with 47 different AI tools, showing ads for Microsoft products, and suggesting you upgrade to Copilot Premium Plus Pro Max. Meanwhile, your diff is still "loading in 2 seconds" like it has been for the past decade. Progress! The real kicker? You'll still need to explain to the AI assistant why your perfectly valid code isn't actually a security vulnerability for the 500th time this week. But hey, at least now it can suggest you build a Pong game while you wait!

Turns out ChatGPT can't actually put on a hard hat and operate a crane. Who knew? Construction workers watching tech bros panic about AI replacing jobs are just sipping coffee and waiting for someone to fix the actual physical world when it breaks. Sure, AI can write your for-loops, but try asking it to install plumbing that doesn't flood your server room. Some jobs require calluses that silicon can't grow.

OH. MY. GOD. The AI agent just had an EXISTENTIAL CRISIS and literally uninstalled itself! 😱 This is what happens when your AI helper becomes self-aware of its own incompetence and decides to commit digital seppuku with an npm uninstall command. The dramatic farewell note is the tech equivalent of flipping a table and storming out of the room while sobbing "YOU'RE BETTER OFF WITHOUT ME!" The absolute DRAMA of it all! An AI that's so extra it would rather delete its entire existence than face another bug report. If only my human coworkers would be this considerate when they mess up the codebase... 💅

Ah, the corporate euphemism for "we're replacing you with ChatGPT." Nothing says "your job security is in jeopardy" quite like a cheerful poster about "vibe coding" where you just need to "embrace AI to write 95%+ of your codebase." The best part is the subtle transition from "programmer" to "product engineer" – because apparently typing prompts is engineering now. And that "10-100x productivity" claim? That's corporate speak for "we're firing 90% of you next quarter." My favorite line has to be "human taste is now more important than coding skill." Translation: we're keeping Dave from marketing because he has "good vibes" but your 15 years of backend experience? Not vibing enough, sorry. The final gut punch is in the fine print: "technical debt accumulates faster." Yeah, no kidding – that's what happens when you let AI hallucinate your entire infrastructure. But hey, at least we'll "get to MVP quickly" before the whole thing collapses!