I Do Not Have That Much RAM

BEHOLD! The most spectacular corporate announcement in the history of Stack Overflow! Meta proudly announces their "exciting partnership" with OpenAI and the community responds with... *dramatic pause*... a CRUSHING -461 votes! 💀 Nothing says "we're thrilled about this collaboration" quite like hundreds of developers collectively hitting that downvote button with the fury of a thousand crashed servers. The corporate-speak about "socially responsible AI" and "revenue streams" clearly resonated with everyone! And by "resonated," I mean triggered a downvote avalanche that could bury a small village. The true masterpiece? That little "-461" quietly sitting there like the world's most passive-aggressive code review. Stack Overflow users have spoken, and they've spoken in the universal language of "absolutely not." Chef's kiss! 🤌

OH SWEET MOTHER OF LEGACY CODE! On one side, IBM is using AI to translate ancient COBOL spells into modern Java incantations. On the other, some government agency named DOGE (not the meme, sadly) wants to rewrite MILLIONS of lines of Social Security code in MONTHS?! 😱 This is like watching two different approaches to defusing a nuclear bomb - one careful robot surgeon vs. a toddler with safety scissors and a "can-do" attitude. The entire financial future of American retirees hanging in the balance because someone thought "Hey, let's just YOLO this 60-year-old codebase real quick!" I'm having heart palpitations just thinking about it! For the uninitiated: COBOL is that programming language your grandpa used that refuses to die because it runs basically EVERYTHING important - banks, airlines, and yes, your social security checks. It's the digital equivalent of those load-bearing walls you definitely shouldn't knock down during your weekend renovation project.

While GPT and Claude are having their epic AI showdown with fancy marketing and billion-dollar budgets, kernel developers are just sitting there like a confused cat in the snow wondering what all the fuss is about. They've been quietly building the actual foundations that make computers work for decades without the spotlight. It's like watching two celebrities fight over who has the best makeup while the person who built the entire stage is just... standing there... in the cold... questioning their life choices. 😂

When you spent years mastering tree inversions in C++ with all those pointer gymnastics, memory leaks, and segmentation faults only to watch some kid ask ChatGPT to do it in 5 seconds. The audacity. The betrayal. Back in my day, we debugged with print statements and cried silently into our mechanical keyboards.

OH MY GOD WHO PUT A LITERAL NIGHTMARE CREATURE ON AN AI BOOK?! 😱 Nothing says "I'm going to replace your job" quite like putting a horrifying deep-sea eldritch abomination on your tech book! That brittle star creature is SCREAMING "I will consume your soul while you sleep" but the men on the right are all of us witnessing the AI apocalypse in real time! O'Reilly books are known for animals, but they've officially crossed into psychological warfare territory with this one. Someone in marketing deserves both a raise and intensive therapy sessions. 💀

The ultimate LinkedIn tech bro wisdom has arrived! Nothing says "I'm disrupting the industry" like telling seasoned developers their decade of debugging nightmares is now obsolete because some AI can spit out half-baked code after being fed StackOverflow answers. The Kübler-Ross grief model for programmers is spot on though—we've moved from "AI will never replace us" to "WHY IS THIS CHATBOT WRITING BETTER REGEX THAN ME?!" in record time. My favorite part is the condescending "adapt or die" mentality from someone who probably thinks "fighting PHP demons" means they once had to center a div. Meanwhile, actual developers know AI is just another tool that generates bugs with unprecedented efficiency.