Hold The Line

Remember when we had to actually learn how to add two numbers? Now it's just OpenAI.chat("Sum of #{a} + #{b}") and call it a day. The terrifying part? This probably works better than half the arithmetic functions I've written in my 15-year career. Next they'll be asking ChatGPT to explain their own code to them during performance reviews. Evolution isn't always progress, folks.

OH. MY. GOD. Someone actually asked ChatGPT to code the gender pay gap into existence! 😱 The absolute AUDACITY to create a function that multiplies a man's salary by 0.77 to get a woman's salary! This is like asking an AI to mathematically formalize inequality while wearing a suit and pretending it's just "realistic programming." The function is so brutally honest it might as well have variable names like "systematic_inequality" and "patriarchy_coefficient." Whoever prompted this probably also asks for functions to calculate how many kitchen appliances equal one sports car. 💀

Content Me Emojis in code

The future is now, old man! Someone's shocked that in 2025 some developers still write code without AI assistance, and Kenneth drops the mic with "yeah it's called programming." Remember when we used to solve problems with our brains instead of prompting ChatGPT? Pepperidge Farm remembers. Some devs still have the audacity to use their neurons instead of letting GitHub Copilot write their spaghetti code. The horror! It's like being surprised someone knows how to do math without a calculator. "You mean you're writing SQL queries WITHOUT letting AI hallucinate your database schema? What are you, a caveman?"

You know that feeling when you accidentally step in dog poop on the sidewalk? Well, imagine that exact same visceral disgust, but it's GitHub Copilot's logo on your shoe. The horror! The betrayal! The absolute AUDACITY of AI-generated code sticking to your sole like some kind of cursed autocomplete barnacle. Nothing says "I don't trust your suggestions" quite like treating Copilot like hazardous waste material. Sure, it can write entire functions faster than you can say "Stack Overflow," but at what cost? Your dignity? Your sense of accomplishment? The pure, unadulterated joy of spending three hours debugging a semicolon? Some developers would rather scrape their shoes clean than let AI taint their precious handcrafted artisanal code. The drama is REAL.

AI evangelists love to pitch that you can now build apps without knowing how to code. Just prompt your way to success, they say. Ship features with vibes alone. But here's the thing: AI can't fix the fact that your brain is a barren wasteland of unoriginal thoughts. You still need something worth building. Turns out the bottleneck was never the coding—it was having a single interesting idea in the first place. So congrats, you've automated the easy part and still can't ship because you're stuck staring at a blank canvas wondering what the 47th todo app should look like.