Does Your Network Even Vibe

When the job posting says "Junior Developer - 0-2 years experience" but also requires "Expert in 17 frameworks, machine learning, quantum computing, and ability to debug code by smell alone." That's how we end up with this 55-year-old "junior" looking like he's seen some shit. By 2025, entry-level positions will require you to have invented time travel just to acquire the necessary experience. The name tag is just the cherry on top - "AI Technician" because apparently, that's what we're calling "copy-pasting from Stack Overflow with extra steps" these days.

The evolution of developer excuses is a beautiful thing to witness. In 2000, power outages were the go-to alibi. By 2012, we blamed flaky internet connections. But 2024? We've reached peak dependency – "Sorry boss, ChatGPT is down so my coding abilities have mysteriously vanished." Let's be honest, how many of us have secretly copy-pasted AI-generated code directly into production? The uncomfortable truth is that modern development sometimes feels like being a professional prompt engineer with Stack Overflow as backup. And the title? "Nah We Have Google Bard" just confirms we always have a backup AI to blame our productivity on!

Marketing folks rejecting actual algorithms while embracing "AI" is peak corporate comedy. They don't want the nerdy math stuff—they want the shiny buzzword they can slap on everything! Never mind that AI literally runs on algorithms... but why let technical reality get in the way of a good slide deck? Next quarter they'll discover "machine learning" and act like they invented fire.

The circle of technological bewilderment continues! Future programmers will stare slack-jawed at our primitive coding methods without AI assistance, while we're already scratching our heads wondering how the ancients managed without Stack Overflow to copy-paste from. It's the developer's version of "I walked uphill both ways to school" except each generation's hill gets replaced with fancier tools. Somewhere, a programmer from the 70s is laughing at us all while debugging with actual paper printouts.

Ah, the classic "spend 2 minutes and 2 seconds to count to 10" problem. ChatGPT just turned basic geometry into a research dissertation. That's the same energy as developers who write 200 lines of documentation for a function that returns true or false. The best part? It's clearly a heptagon (7 sides), but ChatGPT's counting each "distinct corner" like it's being paid by the vertex. Next up: AI spending 4 minutes explaining why 2+2=5 with "reasoned thinking."

Sorting imports by character length instead of alphabetically or by module type? That's like organizing your sock drawer by how much each sock weighs. Sure, it looks oddly satisfying with that gradient effect, but your code reviewer is probably drafting your performance review right now. The real horror isn't the sorting method – it's that you're importing both matplotlib AND sklearn in the same file. That poor memory usage never stood a chance.