Artificial General Intelligence Coming Soon*

Remember the ancient times of 2022 when we actually had to think for ourselves? The shocking revelation that someone can write code without ChatGPT finishing their sentences is now apparently an exotic skill worth gossiping about. Next they'll be amazed by developers who can fix bugs without StackOverflow or remember their own passwords. What a strange world we live in where not outsourcing your brain to an AI is considered a superpower.

Oh. My. GOD. The AUDACITY of this job posting! 💀 They want the "top 0.01%" with IQs over 140 who work 80+ hours weekly and can "replace teams of 20 with their own mind" — but will generously give you $10k even if you don't join! How MAGNANIMOUS! 🙄 The absolute DELUSION of saying "AI writes better code than most devs" while hunting for superhuman coding unicorns who apparently don't need sleep, friends, or basic human enjoyment! Honey, if your AI is so amazing, why not just hire IT instead of demanding people who can "think 10 steps ahead and ship in hours"? Translation: "We're looking for desperate geniuses willing to sacrifice their entire existence for our startup that will DEFINITELY change the world economy... trust us!"

The AUDACITY of junior devs thinking their AI-generated spaghetti code is revolutionary! 🙄 There they are, strutting around like coding prodigies because they asked ChatGPT to write a function that barely runs. "Look at my MASTERPIECE!" they proclaim, while the senior dev silently dies inside reviewing 47 nested if-statements and variable names like 'temp1', 'temp2', and the classic 'finalFinalREALLYfinal'. The crushing reality check when someone who's suffered through 15 years of production disasters has to explain why your beautiful AI creation will literally set the servers on fire is just *chef's kiss* DEVASTATING.

The eternal tech cycle continues! In a boardroom meeting, the boss asks about new features, and two eager executives immediately jump on the buzzword bandwagon with "Blockchain!" and "A.I.!" Meanwhile, the lone sane developer suggests, "Shouldn't we fix our old bugs?" only to get promptly defenestrated from the building. The perfect illustration of how technical debt gets ignored while shiny new tech gets prioritized. That developer probably just wanted to refactor some legacy code from 2015 that's held together with duct tape and prayers. But hey, who needs functioning software when you can add blockchain to your company pitch deck?

Looks like Microsoft found a way to make the Grim Reaper redundant! First, they proudly announce that 30% of their code is now AI-generated, then their Windows 11 update decides SSDs should retire early. Nothing says "cutting-edge technology" quite like cutting the lifespan of your storage devices. Perhaps the AI misunderstood "planned obsolescence" as a feature, not a bug? Next update might just include a digital coffin for your entire system. At least now we know what KB stands for in those update codes - "Killing Bytes."

Ah yes, the pinnacle of modern software engineering: "Just dump your entire codebase into an AI and pray." Because nothing says "professional developer" like treating your source code like a desperate college essay you need fixed the night before it's due. Who needs code reviews, debugging skills, or understanding your own code when you can just throw the whole mess at an AI and let it sort through your spaghetti logic? Next up: "Submit your entire database as a tweet and wait for hackers to optimize it for you!"