Pick Your Poison: Waterfall Or Agile

Adding more developers to a stuck project is like adding more people to drive a cart stuck in mud. The obvious solution? More horsepower to pull it out. The corporate solution? Add more drivers who'll just sit there smoking while the same horse struggles. Next sprint planning meeting, I'll just bring this picture instead of speaking. Saves everyone 45 minutes.

The classic startup death spiral visualized in three painful steps. You've got 250 domain names because "what if we need them someday?" Then somehow you managed to ship 17 actual apps—impressive engineering, terrible focus. But the grand finale? Zero paying users. That beautiful moment when you realize your brilliant technical solutions are solving problems nobody wants to pay for. It's the perfect illustration of the engineer's fallacy: thinking that elegant code automatically translates to business success. Spoiler alert: users don't care about your perfect microservice architecture—they care about their problems being solved. And apparently, none of your 17 apps across 250 domains managed that particular trick.

First day on the job and already planning to rewrite millions of lines of code? Classic junior developer syndrome. Nothing says "I'm going to revolutionize this place" quite like deciding the entire codebase is garbage before you've even found where the bathroom is. The sheer audacity of looking at legacy code and thinking "Yeah, I can fix this by tomorrow" is peak developer hubris. Spoiler alert: six months later, you'll be defending that same "horrible" code to the next new hire.

Ah, the classic developer-manager communication gap! The top panel shows what the manager sees: a simple "Yes" to their question about task completion. Meanwhile, the bottom panel reveals the developer's full message that got cut off: "Yesterday found a new bug, fixing it." It's that magical moment when your manager's perception of reality exists in a parallel universe where tasks are either "done" or "not done" with no middle ground. Meanwhile, you're living in the real world where finishing one task just uncovers seventeen new problems nobody knew existed. The scroll of truth is too long for management's field of vision. A metaphor for life itself.

Oh sweet summer intern! That awkward elevator moment when you realize why everyone's being suspiciously nice to you. 😅 The classic bait-and-switch where you go from "Wow, what a welcoming team!" to "Oh wait, I'm just free labor for unit tests nobody wants to write." The senior dev's face says it all - that perfect mix of guilt and relief that the testing burden is about to be offloaded. It's like getting invited to a party only to discover it's actually a moving day and you're the only one without a sudden back injury!

Ah, the classic Jira stealth rollback. You're sitting there, minding your own business, when suddenly Jira unleashes a UI update that looks like it was designed by a caffeinated intern with a vendetta against usability. Then—poof!—it's gone the next day, and you start questioning your sanity. "Did anyone else see that horrible sidebar?" "Wasn't the backlog completely broken yesterday?" Meanwhile, Atlassian's just there like Captain Holt, deadpan face: "No one will ever believe you." The digital equivalent of gaslighting an entire developer community. Classic corporate move.